Dumb Liberal Senator Doesn't Even Know #Hashtag #Activism Will Destabilize Cuba


Last week, it came to light that USAID, some offshoot of the State Department or something don't ask uswe are not Vox, had spent a bunch of tax-bread to make some sort of fake Twitter in an effort to destabilize that terrifying communist dictatorship, the small island nation of Cuba. We wanted to write about this, but we did not write about this, and we did not write about this because we are lazy. Also we did not write about it because we hadn't noticed the thing was supposed to be called ZunZuneo, which is fucking best. Well, now Senator Patrick Che Leahy, of the People's Republic of Vermont, has come out to call ZunZuneo "cockamamie" and to say it has "no possibility of working" and other fighting words at USAID, words meant obviously to give aid and comfort to the bloodthirsty Fidel Castro, May He Live A Thousand Years.

Senator Patrick Leahy needs to check his twivilege.

Fake Twitter can't destabilize Cuba in some sort of azul-dyed-fingered Havana Spring? Of course Fake Twitter can destabilize Cuba! Just look what Real Twitter's done to the American left!

First Twitter made feminism No Fun, and if anything was fun (once), it was getting all Andrea Dworkin and SCUM Manifesto. (Okay, those were actually not that fun.) It has gotten to the point, with Twitter's most excellent and tres nuanced hammering of Critical Race Theory Intersectional grad school terminology in 140 characters or less, that the female inhabitants of the Wonkette chatcave up and joined Concerned Women for America and the Eagle Forum, that is how not fun Twitter Feminism is! We have seen feminists accuse other feminists of "appropriating" and/or stealing their work for retweeting them. (The male inhabitants of the Wonkette chatcave were silent, because they are not idiots.)

Second, Twitter started fights between every other liberal and/or radical group, most of which is liberals being attacked by Radicals for being Worse Than Mitch McConnell or something, which we do not feel like getting into here, because fuck you Millennials, go vote for Nader and then see how much you love being a radical.

And then Twitter brought us #CancelColbert, which was almost worth it for the hilarious anti-logic of Suey Park's interview with Salon, in which we learned that she was satirical as fuck, except not funny, because funny is too entangled with the Male Gaze and whiteness. And when she proclaimed that her revolution had already succeeded, we figured that if enough Cubans could convince themselves of the same thing, then Raoul Castro might just have an aneurysm stomping around the Presidential Palace and ranting about how stupid everyone on ZunZuneo is, after which freedom would ring out across the island.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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