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Last week, President Obama committed the impeachable high crime of saying some historically accurate things at the National Prayer Breakfast about how Christians have also done some terrorism and violence and bad things in the name of spreading their faith, and they have not been perfect all the time since the first year of anno domini.


Of course Fox News was ON IT, explaining that the Crusades, and Jim Crow, happened, like, a thousand years ago, so it is totes uncool and "unfathomable" to even bring it up, and why does Obama love the terrorists so much, HUH?

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That was just the beginning though. Because conservatives are so not done shaking their furious fists of fury that the president knows his history better than some idiots on the teevee. Mike Huckabee is one such idiot, and he graciously agreed to appear on Fox & Friends so they could continue being outraged about that some more.

"He never once in his speech said we are fighting against Islamic jihadists," Huckabee said, because the new new standard for the president to prove he doesn't not-so-secretly heart the terrorists is to call all acts of terrorism Islamic jihadist radical extremist terrorism, or else his true loyalties are unclear. But in addition to declaring his undying love for Islamic jihadists, Huckabee continued, Obama does not even know his history about Jim Crow and slavery and racism, what an idiot, has he ever even read a history book?

He also brought in Jim Crow laws, as if it was Christians who were responsible for racism in America. I think he’s forgetting that it was the Christian movement, led by the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., who resisted racism. And many of the most staunch voices that helped to bring this country in a whole new understanding of racial justice were voices from the pulpits, and in fact, it was the pulpits of America -- yeah, some of them were wrong, but many of them were the ones who brought the conscience of the nation to get this right. And it’s the same thing with slavery. This president has a high horse himself. It’s his TelePrompter.

Hahahaha, TelePrompter jokes! That sure hasn't gotten old yet. And it makes everything about who the real racists are so clear, doesn't it? Once the president catches up on his daily Fox News viewing, he will undoubtedly hand-write a thank you letter to Mike Huckabee for reminding him of Dr. Martin Luther King and explaining how racism in U.S. America works, ACTUALLY.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who hasn't stopped being outraged and disgusted at the president for basically pissing on the New Testament, gave Huckabee some more talking points to agree with.

"Some would say, governor, that in not naming radical Islam for what it is, it actually protects the real enemy." Yes, some would say that. And coincidentally, they all appear regularly on Fox News. Amazing how that works. Some would also say that by naming ISIS/ISIL, Obama is actually naming the enemy pretty specifically, but they don't work at Fox. But there is probably an excellent vague conspiracy theory to explain why the president is protecting "the real enemy." Break it down for us, Elisabeth, won't you?

You know, the circle of influence around the president have a lot of people concerned here. You know, he met with a group of initially unnamed Muslim leaders in the community here. Do you think that influenced his speech and why he was so protective of some but yet not of others?

Of course Hucakbee does think that yes, Obama has been influenced by unnamed Muslims, which is why he hates America and Christians so much, it is just SO OBVIOUS, isn't it? Because, says Huckabee, "everything he does is against what Christians stand for." Which is very important to note, because he is the president of the Unites States of Jesus. But that's not all!

"He's against the Jews in Israel," Huckabee adds because in addition to being A Expert on racism, he is also A Expert on anti-Semitism, and yes, all the Jews are cribbing their thank you letters from the president on that one too.

The one group of people that can know they have his undying, unfailing support would be the Muslim community. And it doesn't matter whether it's the radical Muslim community or the more moderate Muslim community. He can be defensive of moderate Muslims and still be very, very clear in saying that the fanatical Muslims are the heart and soul of the war that is raging across this world.

That's nice and gracious of Hucakbee to allow the president to defend moderate Muslims against prejudiced attacks from people like, oh, say, Mike Huckabee, isn't it? And Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who also speaks for moderate Muslims everywhere, agrees.

"It's disturbing," she says, "and moderate Muslims are waiting for the president to draw the separation and line there."

So because the president refuses to condemn "Islamic jihadists," the moderate Muslim community is waiting for the president to agree with Fox News that most Muslims are, let's face, pretty bad. You can't argue with that. Oh, you can try, but you'll just get a headache.

[Mediaite]

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Donald Trump held another great big slob picnic in Orlando, Florida, last night, where he "announced" the "start" of his 2020 campaign, which will be exactly like his 2016 campaign except for the minor detail that he's actually been in the White House since 2017, which is really a bummer, man. Still, it's no reason he can't run as an outsider who vows to protect everyday Americans who believe he's just like them. The rally was a mishmash of the same damn shit he's said a million times before, and the rubes loved almost every minute of it except for the boring parts when he talked about stuff he's supposedly achieved in office, because not even his supporters care about trade policy or tariffs. They want an enemy, and they want to be told they and Trump will destroy that enemy together because they are the real Americans. So that's what Trump gave them, again and again, a feast of fear and resentment designed to get them to the polls. It was enough in 2016, and Trump thinks it'll do the job in 2020.

If there was anything new in the speech -- which was mostly Trump reading from a teleprompter, plus the expected weirdass asides -- nobody has identified it. He complained about the press and the crowd chanted "CNN sucks," and he explained what a threat to the nation Hillary Clinton is -- in fact, he mentioned her eight times during the 80-minute rant.

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