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Hey, Senator Warren, whatcha doin? Oh, just going on "The View" and trolling the fuck out of the Republican primary by talking about how you just LOVE Donald Trump's super-liberal (read: mainstream) idea to make billionaires pay their fair share in taxes? That sounds like a lovely thing to do!

"There are a lot of places where he gets out and talks about important things," Warren said of the celebrity real estate tycoon on ABC's "The View."

"Donald Trump and I both agree that there ought to be more taxation of the billionaires, the people who are making their money on Wall Street," she said.


So, funny story. When Trump went on the Sarah Palin word salad talk show, he talked about how his favorite Bible verse is too personal to share, probably because it's one of those Song Of Solomon passages about titties, but he ALSO told Palin that billionaires really should be paying more taxes. Here's how Duchess Grifts-A-Lot set that one up:

Bloomberg reports that, well, you wouldn't mind raising taxes on yourself, and we know our current tax code, it's a joke, and it's unjust, and I, though, wouldn't be offering to let the IRS take MORE of my money, but share what you mean by fixing our screwed-up tax code!

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Surely Bloomberg did lamestream media coverage and messed up what The Donald was trying to say, right? But no, Trump said this:

You have hedge fund guys that are paying virtually no tax and they're making a fortune ... Some of these hedge fund guys, they're making a lot of money and they're paying very little tax. It's unfair to the middle class ... We have to help the middle class.

Yeeeeeesh. So Trump says the wealthy should pay their fair share, he doesn't seem to give one fuck about all that Christian Jesus hoo-ha malarkey, he didn't rush to Kentucky to defend Kim Davis. What good is he as a Republican?

TRICK QUESTION, he is good at the part where you hate Mexicans and say gross things about women's bodies. On those subjects, he is a YOOOOGE, luxurious Republican.

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Anyway, good trolling though, Liz Warren. Yr Wonkette likey.

[The Hill]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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How do you do, fellow libs? We come together tonight to cheer and clap and cry and laugh, with our leader, Elizabeth Warren, and her fellow nice people Jay Inslee (the gold standard in climate action), Beto O'Rourke (excellent on being a good ally mostly), Cory Booker (best corny love hippie but also Wall Street, it's weird), Julian Castro (I don't know, people are super into him despite his creepy twinness and his too much pomade), Amy Klobuchar (bad bitch), Bill de Blasio ( ... ), John Delaney (???), and Tim Ryan and Tulsi Gabbard.

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We know, the thing we said in our headline is a thing you can say every day, but it's really intense today, maybe because Donald Trump is now filled with fear of the inescapable reality that millions of Americans who have not read the Mueller Report are going to see Robert Mueller testify on live TV on July 17, and Donald Trump will be exposed. Maybe the Big Mac vending machine next to his golden toilet is on the fritz and he hasn't had gotten to eat a Big Mac on the poop chair since last night. Maybe he's just a weak and sad person, a collection of shithole cells God meant to throw in the garbage, but accidentally implanted in Mary Trump's turkey incubator. We imagine that'd lead to a pretty constant state of anxiety and ennui.

Whatever it is, he's totally fucked right now. We were going to write a nice post about Trump's batshit interview on Fox Business with Maria Bartiromo, but we were busy, and by the time we got to it, he had performed so many batshit feats that we're just going to stick them all in this one post.

Let's start with the fight he's trying to wage with US soccer star Megan Rapinoe, who in a now-viral video stated that she has no fuckin' interest in going to the White House to meet that idiot. He got into a quarrel with her on Twitter ... or at least with a Twitter account that didn't belong to her. It's now been replaced, in order that the adult president may shit-tweet at the soccer superstar who hurt his feelings, but Splinter grabbed the original:

The rant continued:

Right. And Megan Rapinoe just said win or lose, she has no interest in meeting your crusty ass, because no decent American would consider that an honor.

Besides, she has already been to the White House to meet a legitimately elected president:

By the by, the owner of the incorrect Megan Rapinoe account saw Trump's whining and told him to grow a dick and set it on fire:

Ya burnt!

But as we said, it was a whole day of batshit from Trump, so let's continue.

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