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Enhance Your Child's Prom Experience By Making Them Wear A Piece Of KFC Chicken Strapped To Their Wrist

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Perhaps you have a teenager getting ready for prom. You will of course be adorning them in the finest camouflage dresses that money can buy, but what about a corsage? Why not pick something classic, something that can be easily used for their shotgun wedding as well: the Kentucky Fried Chicken corsage.


For the reasonable price of $20, you can have your own corsage tastefully adorned with a piece of KFC chicken. The item is made in collaboration with Nanz and Kraft Florists, who regularly sold the Colonel himself one red rose for his wife. They are based in Kentucky, of course.

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Former Colorado state legislator and internet-elevangelist Gordon Klingenschmitt (his name is my name too) knows why we hate Trump. Is it because he is a terrible person and a terrible President? Is it because he says horrible things all of the time? Is it because he had the motherfucking gall to refer to Aretha Franklin as someone who worked for him?

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Trump supporters -- you can't take them anywhere. One idiot Trump supporter in Sacramento, California proved that at a recent Social Distortion show, where he thought it might be a good idea to be a dick to lead singer Mike Ness, the most perfect human man in all of existence. It did not go well.

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