Epic Failure Businesslady Carly Fiorina To Do For America What She Did For Hewlett Packard: Almost Kill It

Epic Failure Businesslady Carly Fiorina To Do For America What She Did For Hewlett Packard: Almost Kill It

Carly Fiorina, who will never be president but who is still putting on quite the show of pretending she just might be -- said on "Fox News Sunday" there’s a “higher than 90 percent” chance she’ll run in 2016, which means there's a higher than 90 percent chance we should all gird our loins in giddy anticipation of "Demon Sheep II: The Sheepening."

[contextly_sidebar id="aC6NCvCWONw81M7kX1TecsP00NgEzkQb"]

When asked why Republicans should support her, instead of all the other clowns with presidential aspirations, she had the perfect answer:

I have a deep understanding of how the economy works, having started as a secretary and become the chief executive of the largest technology company in the world. Because I understand how the world works and know many of the world leaders on the stage today. Because I understand technology, a transformational tool. Because I understand bureaucracies -- how they work and how you need to change them -- and our government is a huge bureaucracy. And because I understand executive decision making, which is making tough calls in tough times with high stakes, for which you’re prepared to be held accountable.

It's a weird argument Fiorina keeps making -- that her failure at Hewlett Packard is the greatest evidence of her mad business lady skills. She recently claimed, "I’m extremely proud of what I did at HP,” and said -- and ooh, we hope she means it -- “I will run on that record all day long.”

[contextly_sidebar id="Ht9itFKbRHLYpiQaH38uZ8WG3TUAfqvJ"]

Which, OK, sure, go for it -- but it's still a strange strategy to boast about her tenure at a corporation she nearly killed to death before the company shoved a big pile of millions of dollars in her face to make her pretty please go away forever. But if you overlook that part, yeah, wow, she was CEO at HP until she was not! Quite impressive. Almost as impressive as her other qualification: she is a lady who is not Hillary Clinton.

But then, it's not as if she could run on her success as political candidate, on account of how she was utterly humiliated by Barbara Boxer when she ran for Senate in California in 2010. Although given Fiorina’s odd penchant of boasting about her failures, maybe she’s just waiting for the right time to make that persuasive argument too.



How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc