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In the sort of reality check that must be akin to Carrot Top telling you to quit comedy because you're just not funny, Roger Stone, the former Nixon dirty trickster who likes to imagine he was as loathsomely important as G. Gordon Liddy, is now urging Donald Trump to release his income tax returns.

Asked on the Fernand Amandi Show on 610 WIOD Miami radio if he thought Trump was making a mistake by not releasing his tax records, Stone replied, “Yes, I think he should release his tax returns immediately.”

That's quite a recommendation, coming from a guy who thinks the Clintons murdered JFK Jr. and threatened to release the hotel room numbers of anti-Trump RNC delegates so they could get beat up, maybe. If Roger Fucking Stone, the greatest ratfucker ever to fuck rats, tells you it's time to release your tax returns, it may be time to release your tax returns.

Unless ... Stone's call for Trump to release his taxes is all part of an elaborate ruse designed to mess with Hillary Clinton's brain-damaged head and make her release HER tax returns! Which she, errr, did already, as did Tim Kaine. Even Trump's veep nominee, Mike Pence, plans to release his taxes as soon as Trump isn't looking.

Trump continues to insist he can't possibly release his tax returns because they're under audit, which is completely untrue -- the first president to release his taxes was Stone's ol' pal Richard Nixon, who released his taxes while he was being audited in 1973. Trivia fun: that, not Watergate, was the reason for the speech in which Nixon famously declared "People have got to know whether or not their President is a crook. Well, I am not a crook." Sure, the audit determined he owed $476,431 (about $2.5 million in today's dollars), but he paid it, so totally not a crook.

Also, as David Cay Johnston, the expert on the few tax records we do have from Trump, keeps pointing out, even if Trump wants to put a hold on the returns that are being audited, he has no excuse not to release his taxes up through 2011, which are not under audit. It's almost as if the bastard were hiding something.

But never mind, let's talk about whether Hillary REALLY opened that pickle jar. Taxes are boring. Pickle Truthers are fun.

[Buzzfeed via The Hill / NYT / CNN Money / Daily Beast]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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