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Make sure all underage youngsters are out of the room, because it's time for some more NSFW XXX POLL PORN, which yet again shows that, no matter how hard he tries, Donald Trump sucks wombat foreskin at being president. A Fox News poll on Trump's first 100 days in office shows that, even though he has a 45% approval rating (48% disapprove), when a different question is asked, Trump's numbers go down the drain faster than Russian hooker pee that's currently swirling around a drain. If it were already 2020 and voters had to choose between Donald Trump and somebody else, only a measly, puny 36% of respondents would vote for Trump. WHOA IF TRUE!

Wow, 55 whole percent of people would vote for somebody else! Congratulations, Chelsea Clinton! This poll is probably Fake News, though, because those 55 whole percent are all illegal Mexican Muslims from Kenya, who are only voting because George Soros is paying them to.

Another fake result in this lamestream media Fox News poll shows that over half of Americans correctly understand that our nation is FAR less respected around the world than it was a year ago, now that Pussgrab McLittlepaws is president. The 29% who think America is more respected are Trump voters who think Cracker Barrel is the fanciest. They do not have passports and they don't tend to read, so they can be forgiven for having incorrect beliefs about what the world thinks of pathetic, sad Trump:

Trump shouldn't be disheartened though! There is another new poll, this time from Washington Post/ABC, that shows that Trump voters are as stupid as they've always been. Fully 76% of his supporters think he always tells the truth, while 78% of them think the news media actively makes up fake news. Meanwhile a new University of Virginia Center for Politics poll finds that fully 88% of Trump supporters agree with their loser leader's statement that the news media is "the enemy of the American people." Who the fuck are these people we share breathing space with, and how did they get here? Oh yeah, Fox News and Rush Limbaugh have been lobotomizing them for decades and they have now completely lost their damn minds.

To revisit the Fox News poll before we close out this post, there is ONE really annoying finding, and it's that 57% of respondents are apparently tired of hearing about all this Trump Russia scandal stuff, probably because 57% of respondents are stupid goldfish who don't know their history, or they've gotten distracted by something shiny. Or maybe they think we have all the answers we need already. Or maybe they are like dumb idiot Eli Lake, who thinks all the (alleged LOL) crimes of disgraced former national security adviser/LITERAL ACTUAL FOREIGN AGENT Michael Flynn are just a "string of gaffes." Whatever, dude.

Anyway, the point is that even Fox News polls hate Donald Trump, so he should probably go ahead and resign and spare America the indignity of ever having to look at his stupid face ever again.

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[Fox News]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Barack Obama delivered his first major address of his post-presidency Tuesday at an event in Johannesburg, South Africa, honoring the 100th anniversary of Nelson Mandela's birth. It was -- as you'd expect for the occasion -- appropriately dignified and thoughtful. It was also every bit as inspiring as you might expect from the first black American president speaking in memory of the first black president of a nation that for most of its modern history was synonymous with apartheid. Let's take some time to bask in what an actual world leader sounds like, shall we?

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Guess what Vladimir Putin's getting for Christmas! He's been dropping hints, and you know the Big Orange Baboon can't say no to him for some unknown reason. Gonna be so cute when little Vladdy stumbles down the stairs in his PJs, brushes the sleep from his eyes, and finds MONTENEGRO all wrapped up with a big bow under the Christmas tree. Adorbz!

Oh, but we are to kid! Just a little levity as President Treasonweasel slams a sledgehammer into the international framework that kept us out of another world war for the past 70 years. So why are we suddenly talking about a tinyass country whose chief export appears to be consonants? (Sorry, Montenegro. But your Predsjednik Crne Gore is Milo Đukanović, and your capital city is Cetinje, which is just cheating at Scrabble.)

Well! Donald Trump just got out of a two-hour, closed-door meeting with Vladimir Putin, whose government tried to stage a coup in 2016 to assassinate Đukanović and stop Montenegro's accession to the European Union. Which might not be a coincidence!

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