Everybody Hates Trump Rallies Now, Even Cousin-Humping Weirdos And Fox News
Hilarious and sad news to report! It turns out that what we'd been noticing about Donald Trump's little Hitler rallies -- namely that his weird gross fans have seemed kind of subdued and boring lately -- is actually part of a larger trend, and that trend is that everybody hates Donald Trump rallies and refuses to show them on the TV. Even Fox News.
Politico is out with a hilarious piece about the flaccid interest in Trump's rallies, and we will now read it, together:
As [Trump has] ramped up his rally schedule ahead of the midterms, viewership numbers for the raucous prime-time events have been roughly similar to — sometimes dipping below — Fox News' regular programming, and the network has recently stopped airing most evening events in full.
Oh no, Fox News! But you are supposed to be state-run television! How dare you act like a common corporation and think only of the bottom line?????
But it's true. Fox News sees that Trump's ratings are down BIGLY and can't count on him to keep their viewers interested like Tucker Carlson can keep them interested, so the network is merely running clips from the rallies. Unfair!
Also a Politico source close to Fox News notes that Trump says the same thing over and over and over again, NO COLLUSION, BUILD WALL, LOCK HER UP, so maybe this is happening partially because the rallies are turning into a big snooze-fest.
Politico notes that Fox has done this several times lately, including with last night's batshit rally in Pennsylvania that nobody else seemed interested in covering. Apparently they were covering a "hurricane," which is what the president of the United States should have been doing at the White House, instead of flying to PA for vanity rally about himself that was ostensibly in support of a Republican candidate who has zero chance of winning.
You might be wondering if the White House is freaked out about this, since they were counting on Trump having so much free airtime to talk to himself and yell at clouds in the run-up to the midterms. The answer is yes.
One senior White House official was unsure why the network would decide to cut away from presidential rallies, saying officials planned "to look into that" and wouldn't be surprised if White House communications director Bill Shine, a former Fox News executive, was in touch with former colleagues about the trend. [...]
A source close to Trump described the declining coverage as a "huge loss on the state and local level for Republicans because they're certainly not going to get any of that on other cable networks."
"If they stop taking them completely, that might create a problem," this person said. "Trump is a massive consumer of the media, so he may be disappointed."
Politico even quotes a Senate staffer who is very a-skeered of this development, we guess because of Trump's known penchant for really going all-in for the candidates he campaigns for, by occasionally remembering to mention their names sometimes.
Trump has yet to start whining about this new development and demanding his free TV time back, but we're sure he'll tweet about it the next time he's trying to squeeze out a particularly tricky poop, so let's just say it'll happen tomorrow morning sometime.
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