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Everyone Must Spam GOP's Anti-Healthcare Reform Livestream Thing Immediately

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The National Republican Congressional Committee has helpfully parked a camera right above a printer in its office that it has dedicated to churning out constant filth for your amusement. Here is the tumblr where you can go fill out your very own "online petition to repeal the health care law" or whatever and watch your submission be printed out in the NRCC office. Hurry before they have to chop down all the trees on Earth to keep the paper tray filled!


Here, it took us exactly twenty seconds to assemble this collection for you:

Some poor intern is sitting next to the machine swiping out the really good ones as they print, so don't blink!

UPDATE: The NRCC gave up, fun is cancelled. The Internet, however, agrees that this petition is the winner of the Internet, today:

[iwantrepeal tumblr]

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Screenshot, CNN

If the facts are against you, argue the law. If the law is against you, argue the facts. If the law and the facts are against you, pound the table and yell like hell. And if that doesn't work, just make shit up.

Talking hairpiece Jay Sekulow went on Chris Cuomo's CNN show Wednesday night to barf out the latest Trumpland nonsense on the Russian WITCH HUNT. Remember way back in May, 2017 when Donald Trump told Lester Holt about that hilarious time he fired James Comey to murder the Russia investigation?

"I was going to fire Comey knowing there's no good time to do it. And in fact when I decided to just do it, I said to myself, I said, 'you know, this Russia thing with Trump and Russia is a made up story, it's an excuse by the Democrats for having lost an election that they should have won.'"

Did you think that meant he actually fired Comey TO MURDER THE RUSSIA INVESTIGATION? Watch and learn, kids!

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In the words of the great Tammy Wynette, sometimes it's hard to be a woman. This week has been such a time for many of us out there, what with the impending prospect of seeing yet another sex predator who wants to take away our reproductive rights getting confirmed to the highest court in the land. Oh, it's almost like we, and our bodily autonomy, don't even matter at all.

Thankfully, several conservative columnists have graciously taken the time to explain to the rest of us why we should stand by their man. Not for his good, but for our own. Because it will be empowering. So come on gals, let's switch out our sneakers for pumps like the the working gals in 1980s movies, set up our desk salads, and just really lean in to see what they have to say!

First up, we've got Catherine Glenn Foster over at The Federalist, who wants us to know that losing our reproductive rights will empower us beyond our wildest dreams, according to the actual title of her essay.

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