Excellent News! John McCain Might Get His Butt Kicked, By A Girl
The crusty old crankypants senior senator from Arizona -- who will never give up! never surrender! never stop being SO GODDAMNED BITTER about that time he didn't get to be president, and then that other time he didn't get to be president -- has a problem, and that problem is that nobody likes him at all. (Except for his bastard son Sen. Lindsey Graham, but he doesn't count, because no one likes him either.) But for reals, pretty much everyone hates John McCain. Democrats, obviously, but even in McCain's blood red home state, he is WAY unpopular, as a recent poll shows: 71 percent of "very conservative" conservatives think he is sucking at his job like a porn star, but not in a good way. So it's EXCELLENT NEWS for people who are not John McCain that Democratic Rep. Ann Kirkpatrick has announced she will save you, Arizona, from another six years of John McCain sucking on your behalf:
But McCain probably has nothing to worry about. Arizona loves him, except for not, and his own party loves him, except for not that either, since the True Conservatives are plotting and scheming about how to primary his ancient buttocks out of the Senate, since the former Republican presidential nominee is not Republican enough for today's Republicans. And if that happens, he'll have to protect himself from the left and the right, fun! Factor in that even his own family members openly defy him and say he is wrong about things, like The Gays, and it sure must be real lonely to be John McCain right now.