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Are you scared enough yet? How about now?


We decided to watch part of Tuesday's election coverage on Fox News last night, and in the middle of all the ads for prescription pills that will give you boners and make your bowels work right, this brilliant bit of agitprop from the National Rifle Association came on, featuring a terribly earnest man preaching class warfare. Or warning of it, at least. The ad, titled "Hypocrisy," has been up on YouTube since March, but we haven't seen it on TV previously, and as far as we can tell, its initial release was only covered by rightwing sources and gun-humper blogs. It's really something!

The terrifyingly serious man in the suit is Chris Cox, head of the NRA’s Institute for Legislative Action (translation: lobbyist dude), intoning over a Very Somber Soundtrack about how attempts to regulate firearms are REALLY a form of class warfare against YOU: the ordinary decent American who simply wants the right to defend your home and family.

How many class resentments/fear triggers can YOU find in this script, kids?

Here’s the truth about the Hollywood celebrities, political elites, and billionaires who attack the Second Amendment. The thought of average people owning firearms makes them uncomfortable.

They don’t like how the men and women who build their office buildings, vacation homes and luxury cars -- who mop their floors, clean their clothes and serve their dinner -- have access to the same level of protection as their armed security guards. They want you to surrender your freedom for a false promise of government-provided security they will never rely upon themselves.

Actually, what makes a lot of us uncomfortable -- and we can assure Mr. Cox that nobody at Wonkette works in Hollywood, is a political insider, or even a billionaire -- is shit like this: the average Georgia family whose three-year-old somehow found a handgun and fired it into his chest, killing himself immediately. No charges have been filed. Now, it's true that might not have happened to a rich Hollywood elitist with a bodyguard, who would probably not have left an unsecured weapon somewhere a curious three-year-old could find. So there's your class warfare.

[wonkbar]href http://wonkette.com/518403/nra-asks-what-kind-of-idiot-would-keep-his-gun-in-a-safe-where-his-children-cant-even-get-to-it[/wonkbar]We don't want to take all the guns away. But we think it would be a damned fine idea if gun owners with children were required to keep their guns locked up safely, a policy the NRA insists is an attack on the Second Amendment. God, we feel like such hypocrites for thinking children shouldn't die for stupid reasons.

The ad closes with Cox vowing,

But no amount of money, power or fame gives anyone the right to take our freedom away. At the core of the Second Amendment is the eternal truth that no life is more worthy of armed protection than another. That’s what I believe, and that’s what I fight for. I'm the National Rifle Association of America, and I'm Freedom's Safest Place.

"Freedom's Safest Place" is actually the title for a whole series of videos featuring such topics as the San Bernardino shootings, not being a victim, and, of course, "The Truth About Benghazi," a bizarre rant that has absolutely nothing to do with the Second Amendment, but sure is tough on the Washington Politicians who sat back and cackled evilly while our heroes died.

We give "Hypocrisy" a score of 3 and a half Demon Sheep. It's got slick production values (borrowing visual cues from Koyaanisqatsi will never go out of style), pitch-perfect class-based anxiety, and finely honed paranoia. It certainly convinced us that those terrible Hollywood hypocrites won't understand ordinary Americans until they give up their armed guards and let their little kids find a gun under the sofa cushions, like regular folks.


[YouTube / Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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