Fake News OG James O'Keefe Vows To Infiltrate 'Fake News' Outlets CBS, NBC, Thrifty Nickel
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You'll be delighted to know that after finding all the election fraud he could possibly make up -- like "proving" someone could do voting fraud, a felony, by asking to vote another person's ballot -- notoriously inept undercover "journalist" James O'Keefe is now vowing to infiltrate major news outlets to expose how they all just make up the news, exactly like he does, but with bigger budgets, plus "facts" and "reporting" and sometimes "ethical codes." Or maybe he'll just see if he can get CNN to put a dildo on air. Besides Don Lemon.
In an email sent Tuesday to supporters of his "Project Veritas" (latin for "These rubes will believe anything"), O'Keefe whined that the mean ol' liberals at Media Matters had lied about him by calling him a purveyor of fake news, and that he will have his revenge, oh yes he will! (At the academy they all said he was mad, MAD! But he'll show them! SHOW THEM ALL!)
They think they can lie about us at will and we’ll slink away.
instead, we’re doubling down and going into the belly of the beast.
We’re sending our own set of journalists to go into the organizations that have been purveyors of “Fake News” for decades. From ABC and NBC to Google, Facebook and Twitter, we’re intent on setting these organizations straight by showing the public what really goes on behind the close doors of the “news” rooms.
As these organizations prepare to gear up against the incoming president, we’ll be there to show you, with video evidence, their real agenda.
First off, we suppose it might be worth noting that Google, Facebook, and Twitter do not even have news divisions. "Google News" is just an aggregation service (though not always an especially accurate one), so maybe he'll find somebody in Palo Alto who brags about the way they put the Washington Post and New York Times at the top of the results almost every day, while deliberately squelching Angry Roy's Blog Of Patriot Truth.
As to what O'Keefe has in mind, we'll assume it will follow his usual crappy modus operandi (Latin for "moody opulence" -- he's never been happy since he put away the pimp suit) of sending some enthusiastic Project Viral Tossers out to volunteer as interns or somehow get inside a newsroom somewhere with a camera hidden in a "Hello Kitty" lapel pin, and then the infiltrator will propose something outrageous and see what sort of incriminating reactions they can catch on camera. Like, they'll smuggle someone into an internship at the Sheboygan NBC affiliate and then, in the lunch room, propose doing some Biased Journalisming, like suggesting, "God, that Donald Trump is such a monster. How should we go about slurring him?" And then the assistant deputy to the associate news director would get caught saying something inflammatory like, "Well, we could accurately report exactly what he says, verbatim. That'd make him look pretty bad." GOTCHA, lamestream media! Or maybe they'll infiltrate the Rachel Maddow Show and see the staff just sitting around reading Wonkette all day.
Whatever intrepid exposés result, we can guarantee they'll be over-hyped, deceptively edited, not especially scandalous, and will nonetheless get screaming headlines at Breitbart. They'll also feature excruciatingly pompous narration by O'Keefe.
In the meantime, we advise all media organizations to exercise caution to make sure they haven't been infiltrated. Be careful not to talk politics at work, and to keep news meetings fair. Don't cackle with delight at your latest scheme to undermine American sovereignty. Grab your new intern's moustache and give it a strong tug, to make sure it's not fake. Be suspicious of new hires who suggest the news crew should fake an assassination plot, "Just to see how far we get." Record all interviews with new applicants, and play loud "boing" and "record scratch" sound effects from time to time, to keep infiltrators off balance. Above all, keep this photo of James O'Keefe handy, so you won't be taken by surprise:
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.