Family Values Guy Says Gays Can't Get Married Because His Daughter's Period Grossed Him Out

• There are many reasons why gay marriage is "bad," and they are each and every one of them wrong. But this, from David Fowler, the head of Family Action Council of Tennessee (FACT) and a former state senator, is HI-lariously terrible:

  David Fowler's daughter went into the bathroom and never came back out. He sent his wife in to investigate and was later told his daughter had begun menstruation.

  "For me, at the time, it was a relief my wife was there to handle a situation I felt utterly incapable of addressing," Fowler said.

  "It truly took both of us to raise our daughter; one without the other would have been a total disaster. My daughter might still think it was a total disaster," he said with a laugh.

  The gender roles of fathers and mothers and their ability to relate to sons and daughters are part of the reason Fowler opposes same-sex marriage.

  Ewwwwwww, periods are gross, no homo! Yeah, that's a wonderful justification for maintaining laws that discriminate against people. If the Supreme Court allows two dudes, who are already gay, to then obtain a marriage certificate, who's supposed to explain the bloody business that happensdown thereto their daughter? Huh?!?! That is why Fowler and FACT believe the purpose of marriage is to make sure straight dudes like him don't have to deal with ladyparts stuff. Makes perfect sense.

• Our friends at Happy Nice Time People catch us up on the latest from the Duggar clan, and no, we are not even kidding about this:

  We kick things off at the end of a homeschooling assignment with assorted boys scrawling in notebooks with pens. Ma Duggar compliments their penmanship and assures them “your dad would be very happy about that.” Like they say, legibility is next to godliness.

•  He seems nice:  

  A kindergarten concert in Iowa was suddenly interrupted last week when a man started shouting, "USA, English only. USA, English only." [...]

  The man responsible for the disruption reportedly started bellowing the chant when a translator began repeating the event host's opening remarks in Spanish.

• Check out these very cool graphics to show you how social change happens in U.S. America:

  Social change in the U.S. appears to follow a pattern: A few pioneer states get out front before the others, and then a key event—often a court decision or a grassroots campaign reaching maturity—triggers a rush of state activity that ultimately leads to a change in federal law.

  We looked at six big issues—interracial marriage, prohibition, women’s suffrage, abortion, same-sex marriage, and recreational marijuana — to show how this has happened in the past, and may again in the very near future.

• No more blaming your crimes and misdeeds on your evil twin:  

  Scientists at the University of Huddersfield in the United Kingdom have discovered a new way to identify differences in the genetic profiles of identical twins. [...]

  The main idea behind the method is that gene mutations are affected by lifestyle and environment. Such differences between identical twins could occur if one twin smokes and the other does not, or if one of them has frequent exposure to sunlight and the other twin stays mostly indoors. The researchers believe that these changes can be used to identify one DNA sample from another.

• Just because it's Tuesday, and we all need to be loved:

[h/t to Wonkette friend Southern Beale for the, uh, period piece]