Famous Mall Perv Roy Moore Ready To Ride Again
Mothers, lock up your daughters! No, seriously. At least if you live in Alabama and your daughter works at the Sunglass Hut. Roy Moore, the former Alabama judge who used to just be famous for sticking Ten Commandments plaques where they didn't belong and is now famous for trying to stick his dick where it didn't belong, is considering a comeback tour.
Moore, a man so incredibly repulsive that people in Alabama of all places decided to vote for a Democrat rather than vote for him, told the American Family Association's Bryan Fischer on Friday that he was "seriously considering" running for Senate again in 2020. Moore claims that the election was stolen from him, on account of all the "disinformation" going around about him in 2017.
"I'm seriously considering it," Moore said on Focal Point radio show with Bryan Fischer on American Family Radio. "I think the (2017 race) was stolen. I think that's been pronounced in the national newspapers – The New York Times, The Washington Post even has recognized there was a disinformation campaign going on in September of 2017 by forces outside of Alabama that spent a lot of money not regulated by the FEC in trying to dissuade Republicans from voting and encourage and enrage Democrats."
What Moore is referring to here is a New York Times report about a secret project carried out by Democratic tech experts to try to imitate some of the tactics Russia used to influence the 2016 presidential election. This included creating fake social media profiles in which bots posed as conservative Alabamians in an attempt to divide the Republican vote by talking a bunch about the four women Moore is alleged to have sexually assaulted and encouraging GOP voters to stay home or do a write-in vote. Yet, according to the report, the campaign was far too small to have any significant effect on the campaign. Basically, they were just experimenting to see how the whole thing works.
Also -- if a robot does a better job of convincing people to vote against you than you do of convincing then to vote for you, I'm gonna say that's a you problem. I'm gonna say that it was less "robots" and more "perving on underage girls at the mall" that did Roy Moore in.
If Moore does run, he'll be competing in what is expected to be a rather crowded field of GOP contenders. GOP Rep. Bradley Byrne has already thrown his hat in the race, and Republicans all over the state are eager to oust Doug Jones.
For his part, Doug Jones, has previously suggested that he would be thrilled to run against Roy Moore again, urging him to come and get it.
Moore, who was defeated in 2017 amid sexual misconduct allegations, said this year that he believes the election was "stolen" from him by Democrats and a disinformation program on social media. Jones (D-Ala.) said in an interview that the only recourse for that claim is for Moore to run again and win the Republican nomination.
"If he really believes that and if the Republican Party really believes that then they all ought to just step aside, have a have a press conference with him and let's just do it again," Jones said Tuesday.
I'm with Doug. If Roy Moore truly believes that he only lost the election due to this one weird experiment by some tech bros and not because people thought he was a creep, and the Republican party is behind him on this, then he should absolutely run. Knock yourself out, Roy! How could it possibly go wrong?
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse