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President of America, connecting the dots


NBC News has a little scoop about Donald Trump and Russia! It turns out way back during the 2016 election season, the FBI had a sitdown with Trump to tell him to be on the lookout for Russians trying to insert themselves into the campaign in an espionage way. They did the same with Hillary Clinton, because it was a routine kind of thing. But we are guessing that whereas Hillary's campaign said, "Oh that is terrible! We will be very vigilant and OH SHIT RUSSIA STOLE OUR EMAILS AND GAVE THEM TO WIKILEAKS," the Trump campaign said, "We know! It's so awesome! Russia stole Hillary's emails and gave them to WikiLeaks!" After that, WE ASSUME Donald Trump Jr. was like "Which Russians? The ones in my office right now?" And then Jared Kushner and Paul Manafort and Michael Flynn put on mustache disguises and left the room to go talk to some Russians on their shoe phones, PROBABLY ALLEGEDLY.

It's not clear exactly what day Trump got this little briefing, but NBC says it was sometime around when Trump pretended to pay attention to his first classified intelligence briefing, which happened on August 17, 2016. At that point, according to all the available evidence, the Trump campaign had been going steady with Russia for AGES. (For context, remember that Junior's Russian Trump Tower meeting was in June.)

After that briefing, Trump people only met with Russians and lied about it approximately one million times more.

Of course, this is probably not Trump's fault, because after all he is new at politics and doesn't know the rules and doesn't understand that when the FBI says, "Call us if Russians try to get frisky with you," that means you are supposed to actually call them when the Russians try to get frisky with you. It is the FBI's fault for not warning Trump HARDER, just like it's Sally Yates's fault Trump didn't fire Michael Flynn sooner for lying to the FBI and being a literal actual foreign agent, because Sally Yates didn't hire an airplane to write "FLYNN IS A FUCKING RUSSIAN SPY, YOU IDIOTS" in the sky with its chemtrails.

But of course the Trump campaign did not call the FBI, because why would they? It sure does seem the Trump campaign was engaged in a massive quid pro quo conspiracy with Russia to steal the election and make Michael Flynn and his Russian buddies rich(er) in the process. So if they had called the FBI, that likely would have drawn unwanted attention to what they were up to, and the FBI might have made a lot more progress on the investigation it had already secretly opened into the Trump campaign's bizarre ties with Russia.

But alas, it wasn't that important back then because the FBI was very busy entertaining itself reading Hillary Clinton's emails about yoga and what time does "The Good Wife" come on, so fuck it.

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[NBC]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Before we get all het up about Donald Trump's press conference with Vladimir Putin, Tucker Carlson says, we need to look at the larger perspective. Maybe Russia hacked us, maybe they didn't, but what about how Mexicans have interfered in our elections for decades just by being born here, huh?

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pic of Butina and her handler via Butina's Twitter

Have you been enjoying the last 24 hours of the mainstream media suddenly realizing there's a Russian intelligence asset in the White House, which is something we at Wonkette have known since October of 2016? Hilarious, right? Anyway, DOJ just found another Russian spy in its big "witch hunt." Her name is Maria Butina and she was arrested on Sunday, because the feds were pretty sure she was about to run. Now she is being held in federal custody without bond.

Butina, who is being called a Russian gun rights activist in the news reels, has been indicted for being a total fucking Russian spy who secretly worked to infiltrate the NRA and use it to create secret back channels between the Kremlin and the Republican party. WITCH HUNT!

Keep one idea in your head during this post, please: There is no such thing as a Russian gun rights activist, at least not in the way that we know it. They do not have a "second amendment" in Russia. It is not a gun culture. And Vladimir Putin's political party certainly isn't trying to Samantha Stephens one into existence! So it would follow that if a "Russian gun nut" is up the NRA's ass trying to create back channels, she is actually just a Russian spy who probably isn't even that good at guns.

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