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Texas is just starting to move from crisis to recovery mode following Hurricane Harvey, and Puerto Rico is about to be hit head-on by Hurricane Irma as soon as tonight, with Florida likely to be hit by the weekend. So this seems like an inconvenient time for the Federal Emergency Management Agency to be running out of money. By Friday, just as the nation's weather reporters will be standing in a hurricane and telling people to stay inside. You'd think someone would have said something.

As of 10 a.m. Tuesday morning, FEMA’s Disaster Relief Fund, which pays for the agency’s disaster response and recovery activity, had just $1.01 billion on hand. And of that, just $541 million was "immediately available" for response and recovery efforts related to Hurricane Harvey, according to a spokeswoman for FEMA who asked not to be identified by name.

The $1.01 billion in the fund Tuesday morning is less than half of the $2.14 billion that was there at 9 a.m. last Thursday morning -- a spend rate of $9.3 million every hour, or about $155,000 a minute.

As of Wednesday, the administration is working frantically on a plan to blame Barack Obama for the nation's disaster management agency running out of money between two massive hurricanes. And Congress will probably vote to fund disaster relief -- the Trump administration has asked for an extra $8 billion of extra funding.

The House is supposed to vote on the additional funding today, and the Senate later this week, though they have to have an important ideological fight over raising the debt ceiling, too. When you're between two hurricanes, the smart move is to threaten to default on the nation's debt. Shows the International Bankers you're serious. Then of course if the Senate bill is different from the House's, they need to work that out, and maybe in the conference committee they'll toss in another Obamacare repeal while they're at it.

For now, FEMA is being very careful about spending, limiting it to "immediate needs" like "lifesaving, life-sustaining response efforts" for Harvey and, real darn soon, Irma. The agency can also shift around money from other projects, although there's a limit to how long that would cover the bills.

Oh, yes, and Elizabeth Zimmerman, FEMA's former associate administrator for the office of response and recovery, points out that "We’re not even at peak hurricane season," which seems like a really pessimistic outlook. After Harvey and Irma, what are the odds of more natural disasters occurring, anyway? Probably only slightly more likely than the USA electing a president who's a loudmouthed reality TV star with literally no experience in governing whatsoever.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click the "Donate" clicky and make sure your Bug-Out Bag is packed.

[Bloomberg]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Hooray, it's time for yet another dispatch from Fox News's big fun week of failure. (No, we mean even more failure than usual.) While all of Twitter is being annoying and talking incessantly about nothing but Bran and Daenerys and Carl and Peg or whoever they are, we have been (ignoring it and) focusing on all Fox's sadness, starting with Pete Buttigieg's town hall, where he called Fox News a piece of shit to its face. Then we laughed and laughed at Fox News idiot Pete Hegseth, who is sending lots of begging to today's college graduates, that they might immediately get dropped on their heads and forget all their education, so they might grow up to be the Fox News viewers of the future.

Oh, and we haven't even had a chance to LOL at the epic hilarity of Steve Doocy trying to do man-on-the-street interviews in Midtown Manhattan, shoving the mic into the faces of New Yorkers who literally don't care if he goes and plays in traffic. That was fun!

But the point of this post is that we have finally learned what makes at least some Fox News viewers tick, and it is that Tucker Carlson "laughs like a girl." That is not us saying that, that is a Fox News fan lady telling the Washington Post's Erik Wemple why she loves Tucker Carlson so much.

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Old White Guys Try To Explain Abortion

Throwing the baby out with the bathwater. It's your Sunday show rundown!

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Michael is out, so I'm taking over your Sunday Show Rundown. This week everyone was talking about those awful abortion laws worming their way through state legislatures. As usual, most of the men were tripping on their dicks while trying to talk about vag. Luckily, there's enough women around to ladysplain things.

Bernie Sanders went on Meet the Press for the first time in FOREVER and played his greatest hits for all the kids. Sanders criticized Joe Biden's environmental policy (which is literally just "beat Trump"), stating that it wasn't "good enough." Sanders is right! (NO FIGHTING.)

SANDERS: Beating Trump is not good enough. You have to beat the fossil fuel industry, you have to take on all the forces of the status quo who do not want to move this country to energy efficiency and sustainable energy.

But then Chuck Todd asked Bernie a loaded question about women getting "sex-selective" abortions and the whole interview went off the rails. Bernie struggled to answer the dumbass question and came across looking stupid despite having spent the better part of the last week in Alabama railing against abortion bans.

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