Fifth Circuit Protects Texas Ladies From 'Unsafe' Abortions By Letting Them Have None At All

Good thing Texas-Americans of the lady persuasion are accustomed by now to courts opening and closing their abortion clinics, so they won't be shocked when most of their clinics are shut downagain. In the epic, years-long legal battle to decide whether and how and when abortion providers may provide abortions in Texas, a three-judge panel of the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals issued an opinion Tuesday saying, basically, "How about never? Is never good for you? TOO BAD!"

The decision upheld just about all of H.B. 2, the law then-Gov. Rick Perry signed, in between executions, to protect "women" and "life." But really, as we all know even without wearing S-M-R-T glasses, the bill was meant to shut down abortion clinics in Texas, so women who want to get abortions won't want to do that anymore, because they can't. And it worked! Texas used to have 40 licensed abortion providers; it has about half a dozen now. That's some effective legislating.

We already lawsplained this bill and the Fifth Circuit's justification for upholding it in a prior decision by the Court, about whether to let Texas shut down all the clinics temporarily while the Court decided whether to let Texas shut down all the clinics permanently. Shockingly, the Fifth Circuit agrees with itself! To refresh: H.B. 2 imposes onerous and medically unnecessary requirements on abortion providers -- and abortion providers only -- to "improve patient safety." (Abortion is one of the safest procedures in America, but Texas Republicans are unconcerned with non-abortion patient safety. HINT!) And if that means most clinics have to shut down entirely because their hospital beds are the wrong size, OH WELL. Don't you feel safer now?

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The Court's prior decision was a whole lot of pig poo, plus some fuzzy math, and this decision is too. And the Court doesn't care about the consequences of its ruling because if most of the abortion clinics are shut down in Texas, women can just hop on over to New Mexico! No big deal -- until New Mexico shuts down all of its clinics. Or states pass laws requiring residency to obtain an abortion. Or Congress makes a Big Government law banning interstate abortions, because otherwise, it's just too easy for women from Texas to go kill their babies in New Mexico! See how that works?

What, you don't think that could happen? This is the United States of Unborned Babies, where we've seen bills introduced to allow "pro-lifers" to MURDER ABORTION DOCTORS to save the babies. (Hi, South Dakota!) The square-shaped shit-stain that is Kansas just made up a whole new gross name for second-trimester abortions, and then banned them, which isn't constitutional. Not yet anyway. Arkansas recently passed a law requiring doctors to tell their patients it "may be possible" to undo an abortion, patients realize how wrong it is, as long as they act fast and pray hard.

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Texas Gov. Greg Abbott, who is just like his predecessor but without the indictment, has supported and fought for H.B. 2 all along, and he's having himself a Texas-sized happy over the Court's ruling:

“I am pleased with the Fifth Circuit’s decision to uphold HB 2 and the State of Texas will continue to fight for higher-quality healthcare standards for women while protecting our most vulnerable -- the unborn,” Abbott said.

Yeah, and fuck you too, pal. No one believes putting doctors out of business improves healthcare for women, but that's not the point. The point is to get rid of healthcare for women. In Texas and everywhere else, by regulating providers out of existence and upholding federal restrictions, until at least five penises on the Supreme Court finally get rid of Roe v. Wade altogether. And then no more abortions for anyone anywhere, ever, except the dangerous and illegal kind that can kill you. Or send you to jail for MURDER.

That is, and has always been, the point.

[HuffPo / Whole Woman's Health v. Cole]


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