Florida Congressman Thinks Dinosaurs ... Climate Change ... We Honestly Don't Even Know


There is both good news and bad news for America with regard to Congress being in the grip of shitwitted climate change-denying wingnuts. The bad news is that we’ll be buying oceanfront property in Cincinnati before these nitwits admit maybe they could pass some laws to mitigate the problem. The good news is that yr Wonkette will never run out of material.

Case in point: Rep. Jeff Miller (R-FL, of course) went on the teevee so he could pose this fascinating theoretical to MSNBC host Richard Lui.

Miller: It changes. It gets hot, it gets cold. It’s done it for as long as we have measured the climate.

Liu: But man-made, isn’t that the question?

Miller: Then why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Were there men that were causing — were there cars running around at that point, that were causing global warming? No. The climate has changed since earth was created.

That is quite the stumper, dumbass…er, Congressman! Almost as great as this classic exchange between former Energy Secretary Steven Chu and stump-brained bohunk Rep. Joe Barton a few years back.

Last we checked, the dinosaurs are believed to have gone extinct after a giant asteroid slammed into the planet 65 million years, causing massive climate disruptions that led to the dying out of the herbivorous dinosaurs’ food supply. With the herbivorous dinosaurs dying of starvation, the carnivorous dinosaurs that feasted on them also died of starvation.

So think of climate change as a giant asteroid heading straight towards Earth, only the asteroid is actually all the toxic shit humanity has dumped into the atmosphere, and the effects are being phased in over time instead of resulting from one single catastrophic event. Oh, and your grandchildren in Florida will have to abandon the state because it will be underwater. Does that help?

Or maybe the dinosaurs died because they lived during Biblical times and Jesus ordered all his followers to slaughter them for food. That’s much simpler.

The climate is not being helped by all the noxious gas being released by meatsacks like Rep. Jeff Miller every time he opens his mouth, so maybe it’s time to put some emissions restrictions on climate deniers by not inviting them on television.

[ThinkProgress via TPM]

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How do you do, fellow libs? We come together tonight to cheer and clap and cry and laugh, with our leader, Elizabeth Warren, and her fellow nice people Jay Inslee (the gold standard in climate action), Beto O'Rourke (excellent on being a good ally mostly), Cory Booker (best corny love hippie but also Wall Street, it's weird), Julian Castro (I don't know, people are super into him despite his creepy twinness and his too much pomade), Amy Klobuchar (bad bitch), Bill de Blasio ( ... ), John Delaney (???), and Tim Ryan and Tulsi Gabbard.

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We know, the thing we said in our headline is a thing you can say every day, but it's really intense today, maybe because Donald Trump is now filled with fear of the inescapable reality that millions of Americans who have not read the Mueller Report are going to see Robert Mueller testify on live TV on July 17, and Donald Trump will be exposed. Maybe the Big Mac vending machine next to his golden toilet is on the fritz and he hasn't had gotten to eat a Big Mac on the poop chair since last night. Maybe he's just a weak and sad person, a collection of shithole cells God meant to throw in the garbage, but accidentally implanted in Mary Trump's turkey incubator. We imagine that'd lead to a pretty constant state of anxiety and ennui.

Whatever it is, he's totally fucked right now. We were going to write a nice post about Trump's batshit interview on Fox Business with Maria Bartiromo, but we were busy, and by the time we got to it, he had performed so many batshit feats that we're just going to stick them all in this one post.

Let's start with the fight he's trying to wage with US soccer star Megan Rapinoe, who in a now-viral video stated that she has no fuckin' interest in going to the White House to meet that idiot. He got into a quarrel with her on Twitter ... or at least with a Twitter account that didn't belong to her. It's now been replaced, in order that the adult president may shit-tweet at the soccer superstar who hurt his feelings, but Splinter grabbed the original:

The rant continued:

Right. And Megan Rapinoe just said win or lose, she has no interest in meeting your crusty ass, because no decent American would consider that an honor.

Besides, she has already been to the White House to meet a legitimately elected president:

By the by, the owner of the incorrect Megan Rapinoe account saw Trump's whining and told him to grow a dick and set it on fire:

Ya burnt!

But as we said, it was a whole day of batshit from Trump, so let's continue.

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