Florida Gun Shop Will Keep You And Your Treason Flag Safe From Marauding Islamics
Andy Hallinan, the owner of Florida Gun Supply in Inverness, Florida, wants you to know a few facts about Muslims and the Confederate flag, because in his mind, somehow there's a very important link between all the things he doesn't like. For one thing, the Confederate flag is not racist or hateful, because just look at Andy Hallinan: He is not racist or hateful, but he does know that America is at war with Radical Islam, and that's why his gun store is now a "Muslim-Free Zone," which is a totally original idea that has never been cynically deployed to drive business, for America (and is probably perfectly OK with the Civil Rights Act, we bet).
Hallinan explains that racism was almost gone from America until Barack Obama became president and simply would not shut up ever about race, and now The Leaders Of Our Country keep saying all sorts of things that Yr Wonkette hasn't actually heard The Leaders Of Our Country say, but that Hallinan certainly has, because he is a much better listener. According to Hallinan, The Leaders Of Our Country tell us that every single black man shot by a cop is an innocent victim of racism, that the Cross is a symbol of "intolerance and hatred, bigotry and anti-homosexuality," and that Islam is "a peaceful religion, full of tolerance and love and hope." For each of these important points, Hallinan tells us, "Don't believe their lies."
Then he explains to his brave patriot audience:
We're in battle, patriots, but not only with but not only with Islamic extremism. We’re also in battle against extreme political correctness that threatens our lives, because if we can’t call evil "evil," for fear of offending people, then we can’t really defeat our enemies.
Just look at the shootings in Chattanooga, which were caused by Political Correctness run amok, somehow. Now, obviously, since the shooter was a "jihadi," it's time for Florida Gun Supply -- that's Florida Gun Supply, your home for guns and gun accessories -- to take some "drastic measures" to encourage everybody in Florida to arm themselves, which strikes us as maybe a tad redundant, maybe. In any case, Hallinan is offering free Concealed Carry classes (you'll still have to pay for "insurance, gun rental, and ammunition"), and opening his gun range to the public, for free, "because we want the public to be able to go out and practice, in case we are ever called to defend our lives or our community."
I have a moral and legal responsibility to ensure the safety of all patriots in my community, and so effective immediately, I’m declaring Florida Gun Supply as a Muslim-free zone. I will not arm and train those who wish to do harm to my fellow patriot.
The jihadists said they would do it, and they have. They said they live among us, and they do. We must be prepared, diligent, and equipped to handle any situation that might come our way.
Like maybe a lawsuit for flagrantly violating Title II of the Civil Rights Act of 1964? No big; there's always GoFundMe for that.
And then, the Big Reveal: Not only are Our Leaders trying to turn blacks and whites against each other, and the North against the South, but now that Obama has torn down the Confederate flag, next he'll come after Old Glory.
Which, we suppose we should remind Mr. Hallinan, is the only official flag of this nation. That other one he likes so much was just the banner of some traitors who actually did start a war between the North and South. Or at least so the official histories have it; maybe the ugly reality is that the Civil War was fomented by Muslims.
Also, we're guessing that while Inverness (population 7,210, and home of the annual "Great American Cooterfestival") might not be crawling with Muslims for Hallinan to turn away, it's possible there may be plenty of patriotic idiots in the 92 percent white town who'll drop in to congratulate him on his brave stand.
Update: CriticalDragon1177, of our own comment section and at Little Green Footballs, notes that Hallinan has backed off pretty much from claiming that he'd enforce his "Muslim Free Zone," because he knows damned well that it's illegal. In reply to a Blaze piece, he tweeted that he won't be checking anyone's theology at the door:
He also told CNN that he's not going to ban all Muslims, only the ones that take the Koran's injunctions to slaughter infidels literally, which he will determine on a case-by-case basis under his ATF license to refuse to sell guns to anyone who seems not quite right to him -- the same dodge used by the lady in Arkansas to justify her shooting range's No Muslims Allowed policy. Also, he was on the teevee, and all his friends said he done real good.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.