Trump To Hurricane Michael: Now Watch This Drive
Things in the Florida panhandle are a mess after Hurricane Michael hit Wednesday. About 200,000 people are without electricity, and it could take weeks or months to restore it to all areas, although since Florida voted for Trump, at least it won't take a year, so that's nice. The town of Mexico Beach was virtually wiped out, and Panama City "looks like a bomb has been dropped on it." Four thousand troops from the Florida National Guard have been sent in to clear roads, and 17,000 utility workers are working to restore power. But in the worst-hit areas like Panama City, disaster aid still hadn't made it in by Saturday, according to The Daily Beast, and FEMA was nowhere to be seen over the weekend. Eighteen people are confirmed dead so far, and the death toll is expected to rise as house-to-house searches continue.
Also Donald Trump held campaign rallies in Ohio Friday and in Kentucky Saturday, and went golfing at his Virginia resort Sunday but don't worry, he's probably being briefed on the recovery efforts, although it's anyone's guess whether he listens. In other words, it's disaster time as usual in Trump's America.
Bad things happened, but the smiling man will visit parts of Florida and Georgia today, flash a thumbs up and give himself an A-plus, then blame any problems on local officials, especially Democrats.
Here's how well things were going in Panama City over the weekend: No electricity or water, and people were left to pick up by themselves, if they could.
Chantelle Goolspy sat in her car making phone calls to get help. Goolspy and many of her neighbors live in a public housing area in downtown Panama City that was badly devastated.
"We're in need of food, water, anything, we're not getting any help. The whole street needs help," Goolspy told the Red Cross. "FEMA referred me to you. That person told me to call 211."
Another woman said no disaster aid had yet arrived, but the police did drop by to tell them to get out, so maybe the Trump narrative will be that people were, after all, told to evacuate. Eventually two guys in a pickup showed up to distribute bottled water.
It was the first help this neighborhood had received and it turned out to be two brothers—Chris and Brendon Hill, from Louisiana—who had decided to come and help.
See, with that beautiful spirit of volunteerism, who needs government aid? Florida Gov. Rick Scott was also coordinating the disaster response with FEMA Director Brock Long, and they've been visiting the ruined areas of the panhandle, so that's something at least.
Scott said he has received everything he has asked for from the federal government, and he talks to President Trump nearly daily about the situation.
"I'd like it to happen more rapidly," Scott said. "Now, after clearing the roads, communications are the first priority, and power. We have an unbelievable problem in Bay County — Verizon is down and AT&T is up, but the county services are on Verizon. In other places, Verizon is up and AT&T is down."
Uh oh! Better not sound like you're complaining, or Trump will decide you're a Democrat. Haha, we are kidding -- Trump won't even hear that part, and will take credit for Scott getting everything he asked for. Things were going so well that Trump was able to go golfing.
We bet he was in contact with an emergency command center, or Sean Hannity, the whole time, though.
The rural parts of the Florida panhandle, on the other hand, were in no shape for golf:
Word about not getting water or meals had not yet reached rural communities inundated by the hurricane's rains and storm surge. In Gadsden County, outside Tallahassee, where the storm killed four people, county commissioner Anthony Viegbesie said he had not seen a single relief agency.
"This is a community that lives on agriculture. Without electricity, the wells don't work," he said. "We survive primitively."
Hmm ... The Daily Beast doesn't mention Viegbesie's party, but we see he used to head an NAACP chapter, so that makes him an ungrateful Democrat. Didn't he see Trump's response was an A Plus? Problem solved!
Besides, hurricanes are nothing compared to the crisis of finding room in all the baby jails. That's where FEMA's money went, remember.
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Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.