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Former Television Personality Glenn Beck Cuts Last Ties With Sanity, Now Making Believe He Is President

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Has former television personality Glenn Beck finally suffered a psychotic break? PROBABLY! He has nowbuilt a replica of the Oval Office and will be giving "addresses" from it every week because that is not at all a lunatic thing to do. You guys, we are so excited! What will be the first of Beck's "Reaganesque" stemwinders? Will Drinky Nooner pen his delicate flourishes? Maybe! Will he go full-Beale? (Yes, he will go full-Beale.) Will he bark at the moon? Of course he will bark at the moon! Let us imagine some of his topics, after the jump!


* What you should tell your children about the blacks.

* Why Obama should not have race-hustled Passover by approvingly citing Tikkun, the Jewish ideal of repairing the world.

* Why Eric Holder should arrest Barack Obama for thinking Jesus had "doubts" in the Garden of Gethsemane.

* Why Eric Holder should arrest himself for letting a James O'Keefian ask for Eric Holder's ballot.

* Something something something golf. [Politico]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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If there is anything that right-wing men seem to love, it is paying lots and lots of money to other dudes who will tell them how to live and/or function.

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Screenshot- Laura Ingraham Show

According to Rachel Campos Duffy, former reality TV personality and current Fox News personality, migrant baby jails are better than the "Projects". And she totally knows this for fact because she has a "black friend" who told her so. This totally mysterious black friend enlightened her on the horrors faced by black people in black places, which makes it perfectly okay for Trumpco to lock away those "privileged" brown babies. Also, stop being mean to her for spewing that hot garbage on the Laura Ingraham (who believes baby jails are like "Summer Camp") show, because it's not fair that you refuse to believe she has a black friend.

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