Fox 'Comedian' Steven Crowder Defends Poor Embattled Jesus From Grave Insult Of People Believing What They Want
It had been a while since we heard from our old friend,union thug speed bag Steven Crowder, which was just fine with yr Wonkette. A mommyblog of our delicate constitution can only listen to so many Ashley Judd rape jokes or complaints about how trans people will destroy the integrity of the honorable sport of two people whaling on each other in a cage. If Steven Crowder had beaten a retreat from the limelight to spend his time dousing himself in Axe Body Spray and pretending not to hear all the other guys at the gym laughing as he slides two five-pound weights onto a barbell, the circus still sends plenty of clowns into the ring for us to facepalm over.
Alas, this week the human-shaped anal fistula popped back up on our radar with a charming little video designed to be a middle finger poked in the eye of the 1.7 billion Muslims with whom we share this planet. Because if you can be a dick for no reason other than you like to luxuriate in your own dickishness, you can’t pass that up.
Wait, what’s that, Steven Crowder? You have some sort of intellectual point you are exploring?
(H)e said he wanted to get to the root of terrorism by comparing the “model citizens” of both faiths.
First off, that’s dumb, because we all know that followers of both Islam and Christianity have found excuses in the ideologies of their “model citizens” to justify terrorizing and killing non-believers. Steven Crowder, you should try reading up on some of the history that occurred in between the respective births of Jesus and Wrestlemania. But more than that, if your starting position for this inquiry is that one religion’s holiest figure was a saintly, respectful, sensitive benevolent hippie who liked nothing more than to buy a pretty gal dinner and ask for nothing in return, and the other religion’s holiest figure is a unibrowed misogynist bigamist cuckold with pedophilic tendencies who in one scene in your video tries to lure a little girl into his SUV with a giant lollipop and a creepy smile, we’re going to go out on a limb and suggest you are not making an honest intellectual inquiry into the roots of anything. All we’re getting is a glimpse of your own narrow-minded, blinkered, intellectually incurious worldview.
Yr Wonkette certainly has no problem with taking religions and their holiest figures down a peg or ten, even if doing so drives Ohef Sholom Temple to one day demand we return our Bar Mitzvah certificate. We also think the death threats roiling the video’s YouTube page are terrible, even though provoking them was part of the intention so that this intellectual midget could pound his chest on Twitter while his supporters tell him how “brave” he is. But Steven Crowder, you are just straight up trolling with this hackish piece of “comedy.” We suggest a new career, one that will not hurt others and is more suited to your talents and scholarly capabilities, like test subject in a makeup lab or selling pencils out of a tin cup on a steam grate.
P.S. Oh, and this? We feel safe in assuming we are not the only Jew who would like to be left out of your crusade for martyrdom. Please to fuck off now, thank you.