'Fox & Friends' Idiot Pretty Sure The Russia And The Ukraine Just Like Benghazi Because ...

Welcome to wartime, kiddos! We are sure for however long this Russia/Ukraine situation is happening, we will work our hardest to research and give you the best analysis (and dick jokes) we possibly can. Meanwhile, Fox News and other morons won't even work very hard and they'll say the absolute dumbfuckingest things day in, day out, and sometimes they will give aid and comfort to Russia, which is factcheck our enemy. Tucker Carlson's been at it for weeks now, and this is his time to shine.

Obviously there's no way we'll be able to track down and make fun of every single terrible and/or literally traitorous thing that comes out of these crapsacks' mouths, but when Ainsley Earhardt sits up on the "Fox & Friends" couch and says Vladimir Putin is doing this because "Benghazi," we will pay attention.

You want us to be kidding. We want us to be kidding.

It's going to be interesting to watch who really takes Russia's side during all this coverage, and who is on Ukraine's side, which is NATO's side, which is America's side. In this clip, Pete Hegseth with the stinky hands says some regular normal things about what's going on and doesn't even sing the Russian national anthem once. He says Belarus effectively is controlled by Russia. He talks about how "precarious" this is for Ukraine and how Putin just sounds like any common autocrat. Steve Doocy then says something un-stupid.

And then it's Ainsley Earhardt's turn.

AINSLEY EARHARDT (CO-HOST): Well, the experts are wondering if he is going to stop with these regions. And they worry he wants to go farther and farther and that eventually take over the Black Sea.

OK. Good so far.

China and Taiwan are watching. He knows how Biden handled Afghanistan. That was a disaster.

Biden withdrew from a forever war in Afghanistan. There was no "good" way to do it. It could've gone better, it could've gone worse. Unless we think Putin is somehow very stupid and, as the leader of Russia, is completely unaware of the challenges of withdrawing from Afghani-OH WAIT. Turns out Russia is more than aware of the challenges of Afghanistan. We doubt that is factoring into Putin's calculations about this situation that has nothing to do with that situation ...

Try again.

He also lost two embassies. He has lost the Afghanistan embassy and now the Ukrainian embassy has moved to Poland.

Now she's just throwing darts at her Wordle board.

When he was vice president, Benghazi happened.

Benghazi? Excuse us, BENGHAZI?!?!?!1!!1/1/1/1//1!/1/1ONE1/1//1/1111!!!!!?

It's hilarious when the land of Fox News bullshit slams headlong into reality and we are forced to contend with questions like "Wait, does anybody besides white American rightwingers think Benghazi meant shit about fuck?"

And "Would Vladimir Putin for any imaginable reason think an attack on our diplomatic post/CIA station in Benghazi, Libya, that happened in 2012 when Joe Biden was vice president has some bearing on this?"

We know Putin believes some really dumb shit (see his speech yesterday), but we can't imagine he's actually as dumb as whatever Ainsley Earhardt is saying right now.

And, even, we know that [former Secretary of Defense Robert] Gates said he has been wrong on every foreign policy and national security issue for the past four decades. He looks very weak, and Russia is taking advantage of it.


The end.

[Media Matters]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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