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Well, if there's one thing we can say for the day after the day Donald Trump was TOTAL VINDICATION-ED by the Senate in his impeachment trial, it is that we are learning quite a bit about the Lord! Twice today, once at the National Prayer Orgy, and later at the Trump Klan rally he held at the White House, Trump explained that he just hates it, anguishes over it, loses sleep over it, when people "use their faith as justification for doing what they know is wrong." He also whined that people are always like "I'll pray for you," but they don't mean it in a nice way, they mean it like Nancy Pelosi says it, because you know she's like "Dear God, smell my feet! Trump sucks, bless his heart, LOL!"

That is not religious transcendence, and Donald Trump knows from religious transcendence!

These are good lessons. You should not say your faith is telling you to do something, MITT ROMNEY, when that something involves holding Donald Trump accountable for his crimes. Trump may never have read Two Corinthians, and he's definitely not read the #NewBible Mitt Romney's grandma found buried in the backyard in upstate New York, but he's pretty sure it says right in there that Donald J. Trump is the sinless love-baby of Jesus and a superfuckinhot lady disciple, and therefore you are not to hold him accountable for anything. It is right after the verse what says Article II means he can do anything.

Also it's not cool to say "bless his heart" prayers about Trump to God like Pelosi does, because that is Hurts His Feelings.

Anyway, this post is actually about "Fox & Friends," whose very own spiritual shepherd Brian Kilmeade also got very pissed off at Mitt Romney for saying God made him impeach Donald Trump:


KILMEADE: For him to bring religion into this, has nothing to do with religion. "My faith makes me do this"? Are you kidding?! What about your faith and this case meld together? I mean, that is unbelievable for him to bring religion into this. "His faith." [...]

That was totally insincere. "My faith makes me want to convict Donald Trump." When two years ago, you already said he was unworthy for the office? This was just an opportunity to prove it. That's all it was for Mitt Romney.

PFFFT says Brian Kilmeade PFFFT. What does Mitt Romney's "God" have to do with whether we should allow Donald Trump to use a(nother) country to steal an(other) election? PFFFT. Are you kidding? Unbelievable! Two years go Mitt Romney said Trump was unfit PFFFT! (Just like four years ago Lindsey Graham and Rand Paul and Ted Cruz all agreed Trump was unfit PFFFT.)

ONLY LOSERS PRAY!

We'd like to note right now, in case you missed it, that this is a blog post about Fox News Christ-shaming a Republican senator for saying his faith in God helped lead him to a decision they don't like. And if Kilmeade is for genuine confused as to what part of the Trump impeachment case "melds" with Romney's faith, one need only watch the first minute of Romney's speech on the Senate floor, where he started talking about how seriously he took the OATH TO GOD to be an impartial juror.

Guess Mitt Romney is just a big Jesus goody-goody who thinks it's not OK to lie to God, unlike all the other GOP senators, who absolutely lied to God when they took that oath to be impartial jurors.

As Bobby Lewis from Media Matters points out, it was just yesterday when Kilmeade's co-host Ainsley Earhardt was gushing like a broken baptismal font to Mike Pence about God 'n' Jesus, imploring him for his Godly leadership. But we guess that's OK, because Mike Pence and Ainsley Earhardt are devoted to their real lord and savior Donald Trump, having apparently told Jesus to go fuck himself sometime during the 2016 campaign.

And we guess it's OK that a bit later, the very same Earhardt looked anti-gay hate group leader Tony Perkins right in his leather-daddy beard, what a fucking surprise eye and asked with a straight face if God is "using" Donald Trump:

And we guess it's OK that a bit later in the show, there was a guest who seemed to say Trump is the best thing since CHRIST HIMSELF, after which they had to cut away to breaking news, which was that Louie Gohmert, the congressman from Deliverance, was playing GEE-TAR at the National Prayer Orgy.

And we guess it is OK that Brian Kilmeade thought in the Bill Withers song "Lovely Day" that Withers was just singing "What is this?" in the background during the chorus, as opposed to "Lovely day."

And we guess it is OK that one time Brian Kilmeade really and truly demanded to know why sharks insist on living in the ocean, which is dangerous for surfers.

And we guess it is OK that one time Brian Kilmeade looked straight at Fox News's Harris Faulkner, a known black woman, and asked her if she served Kool-Aid at every meal.

Tell us more about why Mitt Romney is bad at Jesus-ing, Brian Kilmeade. We are HONGRY for your SPIRIT-LEARNIN'!

That's it for today. It's your OPEN THREAD.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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