Fox Idiot: Why Does Barack Obama Want You To Get Beheaded?

Hey, did you hear about thatbeheading in Oklahoma last week? Did you know that beheadings are on the rise here in U.S. America, with over 100% more beheadings by fired ex-convicts in September 2014 than in the whole rest of the year? Fortunately, killer Alton Nolen was stopped from attacking a second worker at Vaughan Foods when the company's Chief Operating Officer, Mark Vaughan, shot him. This proves that if your executive staff includes an off-duty Sheriff's Reserve deputy who is nearby with his or her weapon handy, you will never ever have to worry about more than one person at your business getting beheaded.

All these facts have been tumbling around in the mighty brainspace of Judge Andrew Napolitano, Fox News's resident legal expert, neo-Confederate apologist, and Guy Who Thinks Euthanasia And Abortion Are Forms of Contraception. Napolitano explained on Fox & Friends Tuesday that since "more guns equals less crime" -- never mind the research -- then obviously, Barack Obama's relentless efforts to take away all our guns is going to result in tons more beheadings. Here's how that works:

Because the bad guys fear reactive violence from the victim or someone around the victim more than they fear getting caught. They all think they can get away. But if they think the victim or someone around the victim has a gun, that will give them pause or it will at least stop them in their tracks.

Curiously, neither Doocy nor Napolitano offered any thoughts on how many people could have died if Alton Nolen had been armed with an AR-15 instead of a 10-inch vegetable knife. It probably wouldn't have made any difference, though, because an armed civilian a trained law enforcement officer stepped in to stop the violence. Which was somehow not prevented by the Nolen's (possible) knowledge that Mark Vaughan was a deputy with a gun. But could have been, maybe. There's a script that bad guys are supposed to follow, after all, and it definitely involves being scared away by armed civilians, even when those armed civilians are cops.

And just look at everything that Barack Obama has done to seize all our guns so we're left defenseless against beheaders:

He’s doing everything he can, administratively as the chief executive officer of the federal government, and now attempting to get us to enact a treaty to make it very, very difficult to carry guns. He’s told doctors, ask your patients if they have guns. He’s told the states, ask people when they get registered for guns what their race is. What business is it of the government what race I am? [...]

It’s to intimidate people out of getting guns because the president believes that he and the government -- and all logic defies this! -- can keep us safer that we can keep our self.

Because a sheriff's reserve deputy is not in any way part of the government, and the AMA, which has recommended that doctors talk to families about guns in the home since at least 2001 takes its marching orders from Time-Travel Obama. These are simple truths, easily grasped. And by golly, Steve Doocy grasped them!

“So if Barack Obama could, he would ban guns in the hands of everybody except the police,” Fox News host Steve Doocy concluded. “So the takeaway from what happened in the horrific murder down in Oklahoma in the Vaughan corporation, number one, was the guy inspired by ISIS or extremism to behead that woman?”

“The other is that perhaps the president of that company stopped other people from being killed because he was armed legally.”

Napolitano agreed: “If more people were legally armed, there would be less violence, period. Whether it’s monsters trying to destroy us or whether it’s a crackpot in the workplace or a nut job in the street.”

And Barack Obama, as usual, is on the side of the monsters who want to destroy us. We understand they're due on Maple Street any moment now. Are you sure you're afraid enough?


Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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