Fox News All 'Shut Up, CNN! Trump Had SH*TTY Covid Vax Plan, Not NO Covid Vax Plan!'
Go On Popcorn GIF by swerk

You might have heard yesterday or this morning that CNN had a hot scoop what said the Biden administration was having to start from square one on COVID vaccine distribution, because of how the Trump administration had left them "no coronavirus vaccine distribution plan to speak of." Which would be both amazingly bad and also par for the course for what we expect from the previous know-nothing fascist regime!

CNN's piece had anonymous quotes like this:

[I]n the immediate hours following Biden being sworn into office on Wednesday, sources with direct knowledge of the new administration's Covid-related work told CNN one of the biggest shocks that the Biden team had to digest during the transition period was what they saw as a complete lack of a vaccine distribution strategy under former President Donald Trump, even weeks after multiple vaccines were approved for use in the United States."

There is nothing for us to rework. We are going to have to build everything from scratch," one source said.

Another source described the moment that it became clear the Biden administration would have to essentially start from "square one" because there simply was no plan as: "Wow, just further affirmation of complete incompetence."

However you interpret those quotes, the Biden administration got them a nice shit sandwich tied up in a nice shitty bow, sounds like. That said, if you read the headline and the quotes themselves, you can see how there might be some gray area between LIT'RALLY no plan and something more akin to "this fuckin' shit is some fuckin' shit, we're gonna have to start all over." Either way, again, both amazingly bad and also par for the course from the Trump administration.

But quickly reporters started to push back, including the Washington Post's health reporter Dan Diamond, who said no, there was a plan. It might have been a total garbage plan, but it was technically a plan-shaped object. They even suggested maybe Biden people are saying this strategically to lower expectations:

And Fox News said AHA! Owned ya, libs! Trump didn't have NO PLAN, he just had a TOTALLY SHITTY PLAN, BET YOU FEEL DUMB RIGHT NOW, ARMPIT FART DOT GIF.

Thing is, we don't think either CNN or those reporters is necessarily getting it wrong. The story is still that the Trump administration left the Biden administration utter, stale garbage when it came to a plan for distributing the COVID vaccine.

But seriously, Fox News built an entire article around this.

It begins:

CNN is under fire for publishing an anonymously sourced "scoop" that the Biden administration will have to "build everything from scratch" because there was no Trump plan to distribute coronavirusvaccines, when reality tells a far different story.

Fox News used those tweets from Sam Stein and Dan Diamond, claiming all the mainstream reporters are calling CNN a big idiot right now. Trouble is, besides those tweets and a tweet from Josh Wingrove at Bloomberg saying actually, at this point, the rate of vaccine distribution isn't all that bad, the rest of Fox's "sources" are tweets from wingnuts like Ari Fleischer you can't trust as far as you can throw them, which isn't very far since their mouths are affixed so firmly to Donald Trump's now Florida-based b-hole.

What's the truth? Probably somewhere between CNN and the other mainstream reporters. As with everything in the Trump administration, we know it started out horrifically shitty. Both reporters' tweets up there seem to say there are a metric fuckton of problems the Biden administration is going to have to fix. But as Diamond notes above, the US has administered 912,497 doses per day for the past week, which is just under President Biden's goal of a million doses per day, to make 100 million in his first 100 days. The New York Timesreports that Biden's stated goal of 100 million doses may actually be "aiming low" at this point. So maybe, despite the Trump administration's utter incompetence, shit was at last starting to fall into place.

And really, all these real reporters (not the Fox News people and not Ari Fleischer, fuck that guy) may be taking the same basic data and interpreting it a bit differently. The CNN article reads more like quotes from Biden people saying "The Trump plan? LOL." The tweets from Diamond and Stein seem more like HIGHLY LITERAL NERDS saying, "Um, OK, you guys, technically there was a plan, OK?" because they don't understand quotes like "The Trump plan? LOL."

The New York Times has a more full quote from Jeff Zients, the Biden administration's new COVID-19 chief:

"What we're inheriting is so much worse than we could have imagined," said Jeff Zients, the new White House Covid-19 response coordinator, adding, "The cooperation or lack of cooperation from the Trump administration has been an impediment. We don't have the visibility that we would hope to have into supply and allocations."

Like we said, shitshow.

That said, the Biden administration did indeed spend its first full day tackling the COVID crisis head on. Dr. Anthony Fauci appeared at the daily press briefing — which happens now again! and isn't full of lies! — and he seemed so genuinely happy to be there:

"One of the new things about this administration is that if you don't know the answer, don't guess. Just say you don't know the answer," Fauci said.

"It is somewhat of a liberating feeling," Fauci said ...

God bless that man. He added that just 15 minutes before the briefing, he talked to President Biden, and they agreed that science is good and science is their friend. That shouldn't be progress, but sadly 'tis.

Honest to Betsy, if you haven't seen it yet, and you have 20 minutes, watch Dr. Fauci give his first briefing of the Biden administration. The man is almost giddy, he is so relieved. And oh hell yes, he does throw shade at El Loser:

President Biden delivered his own remarks to the nation Thursday on the pandemic, signing a buttload of executive orders regarding mask requirements for mass travel and instituting quarantine periods for people traveling to the US from abroad, which is what other countries have been doing for eons. He also invoked the Defense Production Act to "direct all federal agencies and private industry to accelerate the making of everything that is needed to protect, test, vaccinate and take care of our people." He called it a "wartime undertaking." He said we're going to be hearing a lot more from that Fauci guy up there, too.

And regarding vaccines, Biden said, "The brutal truth is it's going to take months before we can get the majority of Americans vaccinated," even if they are more on top of the 100 million doses in 100 days strategy than expected. So there's that.

Oh yeah, and we finally have a president who's not afraid to tell people to WEAR A FUCKING MASK:

So that's where we are. The Biden administration inherited a shitshow, but they're committed to fixing it, and they're relying on science to do it. Godspeed.

But sure, Fox News, keep owning the libs with very cool own-goal headlines about how the Trump administration wasn't quite as much of a colossal fucking failure as mean old CNN says, just mostly that much of a colossal fucking failure. You betcha.

[CNN / Fox News / NBC News]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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