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Fox Shot The Sheriff (David Clarke) (And So Did Trump's Scam PAC) (Sad)

Post-Racial America

Rejected Gap Band cosplayer David Clarke is missing in action. He was once a frequent, shouty guest on Fox News back when there was a market for black conservatives calling out then-president Barack Obama as the real racist. Clarke might've guessed he'd cash in big time once Donald Trump was elected, but it looks like Clarke himself has become the "forgotten man."

The Daily Beast reported yesterday that the former Milwaukee sheriff is no longer welcome on Fox News, as if the network's suddenly a black cookout. It turns out he was effectively "banned" last year, and we're only just now noticing. Clarke apparently blames his fall on "the liberals" who run Fox News.


"It may have had something to do with the very liberal Rupert Murdoch boy taking over after Roger Ailes and Bill Shine, who was in charge of programming, were let go. Ailes and Bill Shine liked the Sheriff," Clarke's rep wrote.

It's true Lachlan Murdoch wasn't involved in any public sexual harassment incidents at the network, but we don't think that alone makes him a pinko commie. Clarke's other beef with Fox News was that he'd gotten tired of selling out black people for free. He wanted at least a few pieces of silver tossed his way as he tap danced for conservatives' viewing pleasure. Fox News gave his request at least a few seconds of consideration before laughing in his face. Why even offer a shiny dime to Clarke when you can buy a complete Diamond and Silk set for half the price?

"His rhetoric became crazier and crazier and most shows refused to use him," one Fox source familiar with the situation told The Daily Beast.

Man, when your rhetoric's too "crazy" for a network that kicks off its prime time lineup with Tucker Carlson, you should seek immediate medical attention instead of whining about supposed "left-wing conspiracies" at a right-wing propaganda machine. We also suspect that Clarke's relationship with confessed Russian spy Maria Butina only accelerated his overall radioactive decay.

Fox News probably gave Clarke the "new phone, who dis?" treatment because he had nothing of value to offer in a post-Trump political landscape. He'd helped make himself obsolete. It's one thing to waste air time on a black conservative nutjob when Obama was in office. No one expected jokes like Clarke or Stacey Dash to actually hold an important position in a Democratic administration. Now, the time's they have a changed, and there's plenty of conservative nutjobs employed at the White House or in some significant government role. C'mon, even Omarosa has "former White House staffer" on her LinkedIn profile.

Clarke couldn't get arrested by the Trump administration. You can thank John Kelly for this. Kelly seemed fine with white wife beaters but drew the line with black grifters. Clarke's consolation prize was a gig with the pro-Trump super PAC America First Action, but that went south once he got the boot from Fox News. He is now on the board of the racist Music Man-style scam, We Build the Wall.

The Daily Beast received a lengthy note about all this from Clarke's "assistant," who uses Clarke's personal email account and doesn't appear to have a name -- not even something like "I.M. Knott David Clarke." Because his "assistant" handles all his more mundane tasks, Clarke is freed up to continue his "important work" of ragging on black people.

Trump loves to boast about how black unemployment numbers have decreased during his time in office. Unfortunately, for Clark, the Trump era is turning into his own personal Great Recession.

[The Daily Beast]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Seattle. However, he's more reliable for food and drink recommendations in Portland, where he spends a lot of time for theatre work. His co-adaptation of "Jitterbug Perfume" by Tom Robbins is playing NOW at Pioneer Square's Cafe Nordo. All Wonketters welcome.

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Hooray, it's time for yet another dispatch from Fox News's big fun week of failure. (No, we mean even more failure than usual.) While all of Twitter is being annoying and talking incessantly about nothing but Bran and Daenerys and Carl and Peg or whoever they are, we have been (ignoring it and) focusing on all Fox's sadness, starting with Pete Buttigieg's town hall, where he called Fox News a piece of shit to its face. Then we laughed and laughed at Fox News idiot Pete Hegseth, who is sending lots of begging to today's college graduates, that they might immediately get dropped on their heads and forget all their education, so they might grow up to be the Fox News viewers of the future.

Oh, and we haven't even had a chance to LOL at the epic hilarity of Steve Doocy trying to do man-on-the-street interviews in Midtown Manhattan, shoving the mic into the faces of New Yorkers who literally don't care if he goes and plays in traffic. That was fun!

But the point of this post is that we have finally learned what makes at least some Fox News viewers tick, and it is that Tucker Carlson "laughs like a girl." That is not us saying that, that is a Fox News fan lady telling the Washington Post's Erik Wemple why she loves Tucker Carlson so much.

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Old White Guys Try To Explain Abortion

Throwing the baby out with the bathwater. It's your Sunday show rundown!

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Michael is out, so I'm taking over your Sunday Show Rundown. This week everyone was talking about those awful abortion laws worming their way through state legislatures. As usual, most of the men were tripping on their dicks while trying to talk about vag. Luckily, there's enough women around to ladysplain things.

Bernie Sanders went on Meet the Press for the first time in FOREVER and played his greatest hits for all the kids. Sanders criticized Joe Biden's environmental policy (which is literally just "beat Trump"), stating that it wasn't "good enough." Sanders is right! (NO FIGHTING.)

SANDERS: Beating Trump is not good enough. You have to beat the fossil fuel industry, you have to take on all the forces of the status quo who do not want to move this country to energy efficiency and sustainable energy.

But then Chuck Todd asked Bernie a loaded question about women getting "sex-selective" abortions and the whole interview went off the rails. Bernie struggled to answer the dumbass question and came across looking stupid despite having spent the better part of the last week in Alabama railing against abortion bans.

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