Fox News, GOP Senators Blew Propaganda Up Each Other's Bottoms For Whole Merrick Garland Hearing, It Was Yuck

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Fox News, GOP Senators Blew Propaganda Up Each Other's Bottoms For Whole Merrick Garland Hearing, It Was Yuck

Whenever there's a hearing in Congress, we joke and Media Matters jokes and everybody else jokes that every Republican elected official participating is just auditioning for 20 seconds of glory on the Hannity show later. That's literally all they're there to do. Nothing they believe in is real, it's all make-believe, but they have to supply yell-mouthing quotes for Fox News to air as fake news, which helps Fox News shape the narrative. And whenver a new narrative is established -- critical race theory! cancel culture! transgender people existing! -- those same Republican electeds dutifully barf out the garbage they've heard on Fox News.

And around and around they go.

With that in mind, watch Fox News idiot Harris Faulkner come back after playing all eight minutes of Tom Cotton throwing his feathers in the air and dancing the official Arkansas square dance of indignation at Attorney General Merrick Garland today -- a true clown show, any sentient being would just make fun of it like Wonkette did -- and call it "RIVETING."

Then she spread more conspiracy theories and lies -- like the GOP senators did in the hearing today -- about how the Biden Department of Justice considers conservative parents to be "domestic terrorists." At the end of this clip, Faulkner and Kayleigh McEnany (another credible source of information!) agree with Tom Cotton that Merrick Garland should resign.

In this next clip, Faulkner is still praising Tom Cotton. She assures Fox News viewers that they are "isolating" the most important moments of the hearing for them to see, "because you need to watch this." You betcha, they are isolating only the most important parts of the hearing, and definitely not cherrypicking them for propaganda purposes.

Harris and McEnany explain what a genius Mitch McConnell was to not let Garland come up for Supreme Court confirmation in 2016. "Not on my watch!" McConnell said according to Harris Faulkner's translation of American history. McEnany says she remembers how Democrats tried to pretend Merrick Garland was a "moderate," as opposed to the tyrant he really is, who literally puts all the dumbfuck Christian conservative parents in Guantanamo every night after work, for laughs.

But Cotton wasn't the only GOP senator bringing the excitement to the Fox News studios today.

Justin Baragona from the Daily Beast, whose tweets we are borrowing for this post, notes that Ben Sasse got to go on Fox News VERY soon after he stopped yelling at Merrick Garland:

And these two clips from Aaron Rupar, one also including Sasse, show just how clownass the whole endeavor really is. In the first, we see the white-haired Fox News idiot show out-of-context quotes from Senator John "Foghorn Leghorn With Some Gumbo Stuck Up In His Throat" Kennedy of Louisiana, like "YER JUST A VESSEL, AREN'T YA?" and accusing the White House of ordering Garland to "sic the FBI on parents at school board hearings!"

In the second clip, BIG MAN Ben Sasse makes his appearance, after Fox plays a clip of BIG MAN Ben Sasse telling Merrick Garland to bring him a report on "the results of your investigation into how big a threat the American parent class is to school boards in the country." That was a very good own the libs, as Rupar points out.

Oh yeah, they are fucking this chicken to death. (Wanna watch Ted Cruz fuck the chicken? What's wrong with you, sicko?)

Today's Garland hearing was a lot of bullshit, far too much to encapsulate in one post. But hey, at least some GOP senators got to go on Fox News so they could help each other destroy America, yeah?


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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