Bill O'Reilly and Roger Ailes

Four score and seven years ago, AKA last September, Fox News paid former anchor Gretchen Carlson $20 million smackeroos to settle her lawsuit against former Fox chief sex-slimer Roger Ailes. While it was nice to see Carlson take home all that money, it was a bit weird because Rupert Murdoch gave Ailes a severance of $40 MILLION AMEROS, in exchange for leaving and promising never to sex-slime a Fox News lady again. Fucked up, yeah?

Now, we are learning that Bill O'Reilly is getting a severance package in the neighborhood of $25 million, AKA basically a year's salary, now that his sexual falafel hot chocolate loofah harassment grossness became such a problem (for advertisers, not for Fox's moral compass) that he had to be fired. So, using Fox's ratio in the Carlson case, you'll be shocked to learn that five of the women harassed by O'Reilly have been collectively paid out just a little more than half that, AKA about $13 million.

The New York Times did some back-of-the-napkin math on its abacus and calculated the following:

For 21st Century Fox, the network’s parent company, payouts related to sexual harassment allegations at Fox News now total more than $85 million. The vast majority of that — up to $65 million in exit packages — is being paid to the men who were ousted from the network because of the harassment allegations.

Now, the New York Times reports that much of the $13 million that went to O'Reilly's victims actually came from his own piggy bank, so we're guessing the $85 million cited above is just money directly paid out by Fox, WHICH MAKES IT EVEN WORSE. They're more than happy to compensate these boys for getting caught playing "Got 'Yer Puss!", but they get stingy when somebody asks them to write a check to the victims.

Maybe the network is just trying to reimburse O'Reilly for all the money he had to pay out. You don't want him to STARVE, do you?

Anyway, the point is KA-CHING. And they say puss-grabbing doesn't pay! (We don't know if "they" say that, but we doubt any high school counselors are out there saying, "Have you considered a career in pussgrabbing? It pays!" Of course, it's Trump's America now, so that could change.)

To put in perspective how fucked this is, Wonkette made you a handy educational chart: