Fox News: Why Would Kamala Harris Write Nice Thing For Kids? Must Be Some Kinda *Racket*!


With the Biden administration walking softly and carrying a big reconciliation stick, the rightwing ecosystem is bereft of any real scandal to howl about. Lesser figures, cursed with pesky integrity or journalistic ethics, might be forced to report the actual news. But not these plucky underdogs! They will cover seven Biden outrages a day, even if they have to make them up out of whole cloth.

And so it was that we'd barely finished with the abject lie about Biden coming for your burgers — be very angry, Grandma! — when it was on to the next pile of nonsense. Today's White House fanfic involves the United States government buying up copies of Vice President Kamala Harris's children's book Superheroes Are Everywhere to give to migrant children at the border.

This particular bullshit appears to have originated with a New York Post story claiming that "Unaccompanied migrant kids brought from the U.S.-Mexico border to a new shelter in Long Beach, Calif., will be given a copy of her 2019 children's book, "Superheroes are Everywhere," in their welcome kits." The story has been memory-holed, along with the follow-up piece on Jen Psaki fielding a question from Fox about it at yesterday's press briefing, but the internet is forever, assholes.

In reality, decent human beings who don't hate brown kids are collecting donated books to give to kids at the Long Beach Entertainment and Convention Center, which is currently being used to house migrant children while the government works to place them with relatives already in the country. As the Washington Post reports, Reuters snapped a photo of one kid's backpack with Harris's book propped up next to it, and the NY Post repurposed it into a totally fictitious story about the government giving one to every child.

After that, it was just a hop, skip, and a jump through the wingnuttosphere for the story to become accepted dogma.

"The Biden administration's weakness caused a surge of illegal immigration," tweeted Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton. "Now they're forcing taxpayers to buy Kamala Harris's book to give to those illegal immigrants?"

"After learning officials are handing out Kamala Harris' book to migrants in facilities at the border, it's worth asking… Was Harris paid for these books? Is she profiting from Biden's border crisis?" RNC Chair Ronna Romney McDaniel demanded to know.

(LOL, remember when the RNC made Don Jr.'s stupid book a "bestseller" by using $300,000 of donor money to buy up copies? Or if we really want to talk about something more apposite to "profiting from the 'border crisis,'" maybe she could talk to John Kelly?)

And even as the story fell apart, it continued to be flogged by people who spend their entire day screaming about FAKE NEWS.

Really? Is that how it went down? Seems to us that the former president pocketed tens of millions of dollars from the federal government as he dragged Secret Service agents from Trump property to Trump property for four straight years, all the while collecting cash from foreign governments, lobbyists, and corporations seeking to curry favor with him by dropping piles of cash at his DC hotel. FFS, he even tried to hold the G7 at his Doral property in Miami. But please, Spicey, tell us more about this scandalous boondoggle of Kamala Harris's book royalties!

The Kurvy Kouch Krew was still at it this morning, even as they acknowledged that the story was false.

"Peter asked her about that yesterday," the elder Doocy remarked skeptically. "I don't think she knew about it."

Why ever would a person who traffics in actual news not be up on the latest rightwing fake outrage, that's what Steve Doocy wants to know!

"Well, according to the Washington Post this morning, they're saying that it's not accurate. I mean, Steve, Peter asked an excellent question, because we had heard that," Ainsley Earhardt chimed in. "But they're just saying that a book had been donated to a citywide drive. It's not placed in these welcome bags."

But Doocy was not to be deterred.

"Well, I think the question was, if the government was paying for the book, and whether or not she was making money on it," he continued.

"Oh, right," Earhardt agreed, as if the response was an entirely logical counterpoint.

"It sounds like a third party, probably an NGO is buying them, perhaps" Doocy soldiered on gamely — what? no it doesn't! — "unless they were donated and putting them in."

A single copy of this book was donated by some random do-gooder! There is no NGO buying up copies of Harris's book — Doocy appears to have made that up on the spot, like Jacob Wohl in a fancier suit.

And that's how complete lies become "the truth."

Tune in tomorrow as we learn that the White House is mandating Spanish-only instruction in public elementary schools. PROBABLY.

EDIT: The NYPost has apparently un-memoryholed the story with a helpful note saying that it's first attempt was total bullshit.

So, what's left? Oh, that's right NOTHING.


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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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