Fox News's Laura Ingraham Has Diaper Fantasies, And They Are Disgusting

Pooping right now. See how she's raised up on one side?

The Fox News lady called Laura Ingraham is known for the way she spits her rage in a calm, collected, "I'm rolling my eyes at you" type way. But did you know that, someday in the future, she might be spitting her rage IN HER PANTS, in the form of anger-dookies plopped into her adult diaper? It's true! Know whose fault that is? Not Laura Ingraham's fault, that's for sure. It's the transgenders, because they have taken over all our patriotic American bathrooms.

Explain yourself, rage-shitter:

For all of you who are bathroom-goers, and you use public restrooms ...

If you happen to be tuning in to the Laura Ingraham Show on the radio, and you also, several times a day, do some combination of wee wee and/or boom boom, this message is directed at you.

Go on!

I think a lot of people are gonna be walkin' around with just Depends on, from now on. They're just not gonna use the bathroom. They're gonna ... adult diapers, diapers for everybody! No one's gonna be going to the bathroom! You have little kids, there's gonna be no bathrooms. We're just gonna all wear Depends ... everyone just be happy. And you'll be in your own bathroom, everyone's bathroom is just their own clothes. Okay? This is what we're gonna go to.

You thought we were being mean with our headline. That's what you get for thinking, now isn't it?

Now, is there really a vast collection of American people, young and old, hot and not hot, who would literally rather sit or stand in public, in the line at the grocery store, between courses at a Michelin-rated restaurant, during the sad parts of Finding Dory, anywhere really, and make the grunt face while they squeeze donkey-sized doodies out into their pants, if that meant they could avoid pooping next to a trans person?

The answer is ... yes, maybe? Hell, it'll be a lot easier to tell the bigots from the normal people, if they're the ones who literally smell like shit, because they pooped themselves.

Maybe Iowa Rep. Steve King, who believes women won't shower at the gym, because they're scared of transgenders, will poop his pants a lot.

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]Maybe Sen. James Inhofe, who's sick and tired of trans people literally cramming their bathroom habits down his neck, won't be able to bring snowballs out on the Senate floor no more, because his pants are too weighed down, by his poop.

Maybe Mike Huckabee and Louie Gohmert won't even be able to get sex stiffies thinking about using girls' high school locker rooms, because their redneck panties will be so full of #1's and #2's.

Maybe Pat Robertson, who knows all the transgender people are faking it anyway, will sit on the set of "The 700 Club" and literally pinch loaves on the television, just in case a transgender person is answering the call of nature in the bathroom at his studio.


Gross, Pat!

Maybe the REAL reason North Carolina Gov. Pat McCrory is so butthurt over trans folks using the bathroom is because his butt LITERALLY hurts from all the shitting he is doing in his diapers.

Maybe Michelle Duggar, who famously made robocalls to protect OUR WIVES AND DAUGHTERS from trans people making toilet, will surprise everyone on the next season of whatever fucked up Duggar show TLC does next, by squatting in her denim jumper and dropping deuces all over Northwest Arkansas. Viewers will excitedly ask, "Is she having a bunch more babies?" No, Duggar fans, mama got a brand new pack of Depends, and something she ate at the Cracker Barrel didn't agree with her.

Maybe Diaper Man David Vitter HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, that fucking sicko would love this.

Laura Ingraham needs to fuck off for making us imagine all these things, don't you agree?

[Media Matters via Talking Points Memo]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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