Fox Twit Elisabeth Hasselbeck: It's Obama's Fault We Have To Hate Muslims, Thanks Obama!

This screengrab is mean as fuck, we are sorry. No we're not.

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Twice-baked halfwit Elisabeth Hasselbeck hasn't vacated the Fox News studios yet, even though she PROMISED she was quitting to go spend more time making PB&J for her Hassel-spawn, and less time helping her cohosts Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade hack up whatever pencil shavings they just eated, again. But alas, she is not gone quite yet, so she has a few more stupids she would like to say.

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Like for instance, she has some thoughts on Donald Trump's plan to ban all Muslims (including the American ones!) from the US and A, which even some Republicans (including known cuddlemonster Dick Cheney) think is a bad idea. Take it away, wigstand:

It is interesting, though. Unprecedented that religion would be a defining moment there, for someone to enter or not into this country. And that's what I think so many people have an issue with. We're in a tough situation right now. [...]

...[S]ome will also question why don't we just fix the actual system in place and why don't we have a leader in place that would actually make us feel safe about terrorists so we didn't have to go to the extremes and say, hey you, you believe this, well you're not coming into our country. I think a lot of people believe this country is about more than that and the terrorists want us to be not the way that we have been.

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That's right, Elisabeth Hasselbeck is Just Asking Questions about how Some Will Say Obama is a pussy who won't protect us, even though she's not allowed to say "pussy" on the Family Friendly Hate Propaganda Network For America's Dumbest Senior Citizens.

Maybe if that Muslim Barack Obama would control HIS PEOPLE, Americans wouldn't be so scared of the brown Islamics right now, and they wouldn't feel the need to get all jizz-viscous in their crusty taint parts whenever Donald Trump says something disgusting.

So we have some quibbles with this because everything about it is dumb:

  • SERIOUSLY? If only Obama were a real president, Donald Trump wouldn't have to be Donald Trump? Because if we remember correctly, his entire campaign has been racist as hell, starting with the Messican rapists all the way up to his current plan to deny Muslims entry into the U.S., even if they are American citizens.
  • What fucking planet do these people live on, where Obama doesn't "make them feel safe," because he refuses to indiscriminately "bomb the shit out of" the Over Theres like a common Ted Cruz or Donald Trump? Oh wait, these are the same people who supported going to war with Iraq, which did not attack us on 9/11, and were highly impressed with George W. Bush codpiecing his way onto an aircraft carrier and precumming "Mission Accomplished!" on the face of a highly skeptical universe.
  • Excuse us, it's "unprecedented" for religion to be a defining characteristic of whether or not people are wanted in a country? Because far be it from us to play the Hitler card, but you know who ELSE broad-brushed an entire religion as the scapegoat for an entire nation's ills? Now, we wouldn't want to suggest Trump is thinking of building any sorts of camps to hold Muslims, American or otherwise (though he's not sure he would have been against internment camps for the Japanese, so there's that!), but we feel safe reporting that if Trump DID build camps for the Muslins, they would be yoooge and also gold-plated and terrific, just terrific.
  • Why is Elisabeth Hasselbeck's cock always so raging hard when it comes to the idea of punishing or killing people? When Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was sentenced to die, Hasselbeck's weave was all aflutter because he wasn't going to die RIGHT THEN, and she probably was upset she didn't have front row tickets. Fuck the American appeals process, where we like to at least try to make sure we have the right guy before murdering him to sate our lust for revenge. At the time, she thought it was just "incredible" that Tsarnaev would get a lawyer as he worked through the appeals process, because that conflicts with her preferred Muslim murdering process.

Those are our questions. We're just glad we now know who to blame for Donald Trump acting like Donald Trump, and his pig turd supporters being their true bigoted selves. THANKS OBAMA!

[Media Matters]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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