Trump Baby GRRRR! And Trump Baby ARRRRGH! And Trump Baby WAAAAH! And Trump Baby YOU'RE FIRED, maybe?

Bloomberg reports that Donald Trump summoned his campaign team to the White House yesterday for a Toppp Seeekrit powwow.

"It's expected to be a tense meeting," a source said, anticipating that campaign manager Brad Parscale, deputy manager Bill Stepien, pollster Tony Fabrizio, and of course wonderprince Jared Kushner were in for a right royal tantrum from President Babyshits over his cratering poll numbers.

You hate to see it! Really, it couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of guys.

The details will leak out in five minutes, because, hello, this is the Trump White House. But since we couldn't be a fly on the wall, let's take a looksee at those polls that have the orange geezer shitting his Depends this time.

(You can always tell who he thinks is in trouble, since he RTs them repeatedly. In the past 24 hours, he's hit Martha McSally, Tom Cotton, David Perdue, Cory Gardner, Steve Daines, Thom Tillis, Cory Gardner, Pat Toomey, etc.)

First, up Arizona where Fox News has Trump losing to Biden, 46-42. Et tu, Foxy?


Which sounds terrible, unless you're Senator Martha McSally who would kill to have Trump's numbers. She's down by 13 points in her matchup against Democrat Mark Kelly, exactly where she was in the last round of polling by the less well known OH Predictive Insights. Arizona voters already rejected McSally in 2018 when she ran to replace Jeff Flake, but Governor Ducey hoped they'd take a shine to her eventually, so he appointed her to fill out John McCain's term. But now that they know her, they like her even less. Womp womp. Did we mention Mark Kelly is a real life astronaut married to Gabby Giffords?

How much longer is Mitch McConnell going to dump cash into this race if it's clear McSally can't win? Guess we'll find out.

Fox also polled voters in Ohio, who preferred Biden by two points, and Wisconsin where the margin was merely nine, at 49 to 40. As the Data Goon says, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. But the last time Poppy Peepants saw numbers like these, he threatened to sue Brad Parscale. And the Trump campaign just dropped $1.7 million on advertising in Ohio, Arizona, and Iowa, so at least somebody on his team has grokked that he's in trouble in the center of the country.

Over in Texas, the news is better for Trump, but not by much. Quinnipiac has Trump ahead of Biden by just one point statewide. But independents favor Biden by a nine-point margin, which is a worrying trend for the GOP. Here, as in Ohio, Wisconsin, and Arizona, voters trust Trump on the economy, but they give Biden the edge on healthcare. If Goldman Sachs is right and Donald Trump is full of shit —hard to imagine! — and the economy stays bad through the summer, those numbers might change.

Also, ummm ... Texas, are you HIGH?

Senator Ted Cruz receives a 45 – 42 percent job approval rating, compared to 49 – 40 percent in September of 2019. Senator John Cornyn receives a split 37 – 36 percent job approval rating, compared to 41 – 34 percent in September of 2019

John Cornyn is a smarmy POS, but how can he have a lower approval rating than that ferret-faced sack of crap Ted Cruz?

No accounting for taste! But more to the point, Cornyn's up this cycle and Cruz is not. And while Texas is probably still out of reach for Democrats in statewide races, it sure looks like we can force the GOP to waste a lot of cash to hold the Lone Star State. Go MJ Hegar!

In fact, this looks like the GOP is going to be cutting a whole lotta big checks from coast to coast. Monmouth has Biden up by a whopping ELEVEN POINTS nationally. That's a very high quality pollster, putting Biden outside the margin where the Blue Team gets screwed again by the electoral college. And it's not an outlier poll; this very clearly is part of a trend.

Biden currently has the support of 52% of registered voters and Trump has the support of 41%. The Democrat's lead has been slowly widening. It stood at 50% to 41% last month, 48% to 44% in April, and 48% to 45% in March.

The generic congressional ballot isn't looking good for the GOP either, with Democratic candidates holding a 9 point edge.

Worst of all, Monmouth has Trump down to 52 percent among white voters. He barely eked out a win in 2016 with 57 percent of white voters, and then only with a massive electoral college assist. With non-white voters, he's at 20 percent. Which is not gonna do it, THANK GOD.

Lacking a good poll, the Trump campaign simply brewed one up themselves. According to the New York Times, "[H]is allies have taken unusual steps to try to calm his frustration, including commissioning and then leaking a poll last month that suggested that Mr. Trump had gained ground rapidly on Mr. Biden, people familiar with the efforts said." Oddly enough, it doesn't appear to have stopped Trump's slide with actual pollsters. Well, maybe ginning up a race war and sending in storm troopers to occupy American cities will do it. They're certainly giving it the old college try.

[Bloomberg / Fox News / Quinnipiac / Monmouth / NYT]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.

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