One Million Moms Saw Lesbians On TV Again. Wanna Know Why Bigots Like Them Are REALLY So Mad?

Culture Wars
One Million Moms Saw Lesbians On TV Again. Wanna Know Why Bigots Like Them Are REALLY So Mad?

The One Million Moms — you know, that dickhead cranky troll person in Tupelo, Mississippi, named Monica Cole, who spends her days scouring the TV to see if it has a penis bulge or if somebody says "boobyknockers" — saw a commercial. And it had lesbians in it. And those lesbians had good credit.

So that was a good opportunity for Monica Cole to get on the computer and scream I OBJECT!

Joe.My.God shares the transcript of this email Monica Cole sent about the Credit Karma ad with the lesbyterians with the good credit. He notes the commercial is not on YouTube, so we should at least allow for the possibility that Cole is raging about a commercial she saw in her dream.

Credit Karma continues to normalize the LGBTQ lifestyle with its liberal advertising choices. The company’s most recent ad, “Limo Valet,” focuses on a pregnant character (a former limo driver) and her current home life with her lesbian partner. They are living in cramped quarters, which must change before the birth of their baby. Because the lesbian couple is able to monitor and raise their credit score, they have the means to move into a larger space for the family of three to call home. The commercial ends with the two lesbians sitting on the floor playing with their baby in their new home.

Promoting same-sex relationships has nothing to do with marketing a product. Instead of remaining neutral in the culture war ...

OK, fuck this vile garbage. We're not going to make fun of this line by line like we usually do, we're going to say something important.

We still die laughing every time we hear unhinged freak bigots like Cole demand companies "remain neutral in the culture war." The entire reason the Right is lashing out screaming and calling people "groomers" right now is because they lost the culture years ago and are never getting it back. They're weeping and wailing and passing heinous "Don't Say Gay" laws and getting more and more violent because they know their kids are learning outside the home about the existence of gays and lesbians and transgender people, and their kids are getting messages from the entire culture that say LGBTQ people are fine and good and worthy and wonderful.

And they can't do a fucking thing about it.

And they are furious about that.

Why? Because everything with rightwing Christians has always been projection. Wonder why they're calling people "groomers"? It's because fundamentalist Christians are the OG groomers. Ta-da! Asked and answered! Keep your children away from them!

Here's what we mean by that:

When Cole says Credit Karma isn't "remaining neutral in the culture war," what she's saying is that fundamentalist Christian parents like herself are trying really hard to groom their own kids at home to make them into vicious little bigots like their parents, and to make sure any of their own kids who are LGBTQ are groomed with an appropriate amount of religious fear and self-hatred, such that they'd never risk coming out and living as their true selves.

These garbage parents stupidly think there's an option available to them where if they hide the existence of LGBTQ people from their kids, and if they make sure society hides it from their kids, then there won't be any LGBTQ kids, at least in their households. This is what happens when you swallow too much of your own molten bullshit religious propaganda about how LGBTQ people became that way because they were abused, or because some adult "groomed" them.

LGBTQ kids exist. Tons of them come from fundamentalist Christian homes. They don't become that way because they're "exposed" to anything. They just are. We've been saying this for decades but they've never believed us. And now they're having a biiiiiig temper tantrum, because reality is slapping them in the face, as it's wont to do.

Companies like Credit Karma — and so many other people, entities, and Happiest Places On Earth! — are getting in the way of fundamentalist Christians' actual grooming of their children. (Useful here to note that fundamentalists tend to believe they own their kids, even once they're fully functioning adults.) If their kids can see an innocent commercial about lesbians on TV using Credit Karma to juice their FICO score so they can afford a bigger house for their family, they might absorb completely true and valid messages like "Some kids have two mommies!" and "That's fine!" and "Hey, lesbians, you want a new Subaru and also more square footage? Better fix your damn credit, girl!"

They also might get the message that these are happy, normal people, and there's no reason to be hateful to them like their parents are. And if these bigots' kids are LGBTQ — quietly dealing with their own truth in whatever way they can, as LGBTQ kids tend to do when they're living in abusive fundamentalist Christian homes, yes we said abusive fundamentalist Christian homes — they might see a light at the end of the tunnel and know there's a better life out there for them, if they can just survive long enough to get out of the hell they're being raised in.

That's why these rightwing Christians want to ban teachers from talking about it. They're not scared a teacher is going to give their kids a graphic sex lesson. That's a lie they're telling to cover up their real fears. What they're terrified of is that little Madisynne and Brooklynne might see a picture of a woman teacher's wife on their desk, just like a straight teacher might have a pic of their spouse on their desk, and come away thinking, "Oh, I guess Mrs. Johnson has a wife." You know, and not even have a homophobic freakout about it.

Worse, they're scared that if their own child is LGBTQ they might see that and be quietly comforted by the knowledge that Mrs. Johnson has a wife. Because you know who's a really cool teacher? Mrs. Johnson. (And you know what website can help Mrs. Johnson and her wife goose their credit so they can qualify to buy that lake house they've been wanting? That's right, Credit fuckin' Karma!)

That's called hope. And that hope is the negation of fundamentalist Christian grooming. It's also one of the worst enemies of a predator trying to keep control.

So that is the important thing we have to say about that.

But please, Monica Cole, tell us about more what happens to the One Million Moms' blood pressure when there's a nipple on the television, it's a real hoot.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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