Fundie Indiana Cake Bakers 'Forced' To Close Due To Gays Wanting Cake
Randy and Tish McGath were just normal fundamentalist assholes with a propensity for frosting. They opened a nice place called the 111 Cakery in a very gayborhood-y part of Indianapolis, so that they might witness to the homosexuals through decorative baking. But that all changed, are you Wonkers ready to weep as you learn the tale of the latest Christians who have been beaten and murdered by gays, due to their sincerely held religious beliefs? Well, you're OUT OF LUCK, because this is just another one of those dumb stories about wingnuts voluntarily deciding to close down shop (they use the word "forced" because it sounds martyr-y, not because it's true) because they don't want to risk Jesus sending them to hell for selling celebratory baked goods for gay weddings:
Randy and Trish McGath – the owners of "111 Cakery" in Indianapolis – were asked by Mike Stephens last March to bake a cake for his same-sex ceremony committing himself to his partner, Shane Laney. After the McGaths declined, the upset prospective customer took the story to the media.
"[The bakery owners] said, 'We don't do that,'" Stephens told Fox59. "'If I can help you with anything else, but we don't discriminate.' That was the end of it. It's disappointing."
But according to the McGaths, who attend a local Baptist church, the process of creating a cake is a personal and spiritual investment. They divulged to reporters that the messages presented by their cakes, whether through words or graphic imagery, are expressions of who they are and what they stand for.
Don't you wish you had a Spiritual Investment Cake for your wedding, instead of the dumb regular cake you had? It's unclear how they hide the Jesus message inside the cake, maybe it's like a Mardi Gras King Cake with a little baby Jesus charm inside, and you win special salvation points if you get that piece. I guess it's just too hard, at gay weddings, to make sure a fag doesn't get the Jesus slice.
Anyhow, the McGaths were doing that thing that fundamentalists sometimes do, where they think that every single shit they take is somehow a part of their Christian Walk, so they specifically picked the gayborhood area so they could ooze Christian Witness Frosting all over the unsuspecting gays:
McGath made it very clear that the first priority of his bakery was to be a beacon of light to the community and embrace customers with Christ's love, while not compromising his own and his wife's sincerely held Christian beliefs.
"There is zero hate here," McGath insisted. "This causes us to do a lot of soul searching. Why are we doing what we do? We want to show the love of Christ."
McGath also noted that showing Christian love to his and his wife's customers doesn't include promoting or condoning behavior that is destructive and falls away from the will of God.
It's all love, and they love their customers so much, those sweet gays, until they decide to commit to EACH OTHER in love, and the Bible says that's naughty, so no cake! Let them not eat it! Etc!
Randy and Tish closed up shop, maybe because they see the writing on the wall and are starting to understand that no, really, you can't discriminate against gay people and their weddings simply because you think your religion says it's gross.
So now, Tish is off being a grandma and Randy has a "new line of work," probably working at the Home Depot selling purple martin houses to lesbians, AS LONG AS THEY DON'T TRY TO SIGN UP FOR A REGISTRY.
Oh, and wouldn't you know it, but Randy the Heterosexual Christian Baker still talks to some of his former customers!
"We were just trying to be right with our God," Randy McGath recently told reporters. "I was able to speak to many homosexuals in the community and to speak our opinion and have a civil conversation. I'm still in touch with some."
Yes, that's how all people who are friends with some homosexuals talk. "Come to bed, Randy!" "In a minute, Tish, I am speaking our opinion and having a civil conversation at our friends, some of the homosexuals!"
They sound nice.
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.