Gather Round For Yr. Wonkette’s Election Night Roundup!
In case you were trapped in your bunker, Tuesday was an election day. We've already reported some highlights, such as Steve King's well-deserved defeat, but here's a quick roundup of some other key races.
First off, Joe Biden continued his sweep of Democratic presidential primaries in five more states. We think he might win this.
Indiana's Fifth District is a race to watch. GOP Rep. Susan Brooks is retiring, and it's only considered “lean Republican." Donald Trump won it with 53 percent of the vote in 2016. State Sen. Victoria Spartz is the Republican nominee after loaning her own campaign a $1 million to fend off 14 other candidates. She'll face former state Rep. Christina Hale, the 2016 Democratic lieutenant governor nominee.
Republican state Sen. Mariannette Miller-Meeks won a five-way primary in Iowa's Second Congressional District. Don't get too excited for her, though, because she's tried to win that House seat three times already and lost each race to Democratic Rep. Dave Loebsack. A news report from last night asked if maybe “the fourth time will be the charm" for Miller-Meeks, but that's not a thing. The expression is “third time's the charm," and she's proven it's not. “Three strikes and you're out" probably better describes Miller-Meeks's congressional aspirations. She won't have Loebsack to kick her around anymore, though. He's retiring, so her Democratic opponent is former state Sen. Rita Hart. Donald Trump won this district in 2016 but Barack Obama carried it in 2012 and 2008.
Theresa Greenfield, whom we profiled a couple weeks ago, won the Democratic Senate primary and will take on incumbent Joni Ernst in the fall. Ernst is terrible and needs to lose, so Greenfield has our full support.
Allison Galbraith dropped out of the Democratic primary race for Maryland's First Congressional District. That was in April, almost 30 COVID-19, racial upheaval years ago. She was still on the ballot last night and is close to beating Mia Mason. As recently as May 30, Gailbraith was describing herself as a “former candidate" and endorsing candidate Jennifer Pingley, who's a distant third. Someone at least will face off against Republican incumbent Andy Harris, who we doubt is worried very much.
Yvette Herrell beat Claire Chase in the Republican primary for New Mexico's Second Congressional District. Herrell will face off against incumbent Democratic Rep. Xochitl Torres Small, who narrowly beat her in 2018. Republicans don't want this rematch, because they think Herrell fucked up the last race in a district Trump won by 10 points. Congressional races (and coffee) are for closers only in an election year where the top of the Republican ticket is a plague-spreading, economy-cratering racist disaster.
Teresa Leger Fernandez won the Democratic nomination for the House seat Ben Ray Luján is vacating so he can make a run for Tom Udall's Senate seat. It's a game of political musical chairs. Fernandez, who worked in the Obama administration, defeated former CIA agent Valerie Plame, who has a great deal of name recognition thanks to Scooter Libby. She had lots of money. She even had these badass campaign ads.
"My Assignment" — Valerie Plame for Congress www.youtube.com
"Obstacle Course" — Valerie Plame for Congress www.youtube.com
She later ran a more serious ad, which we know because it was called “Serious," but I'm only interested in badass.
Fernandez had the support of the Congressional Hispanic Caucus and EMILY's List, plus major endorsements from Elizabeth Warren and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. The state's Third Congressional District is considered safely Democratic, so congratulations, soon-to-be Rep. Theresa Leger Fernandez.
Gov. Tom Wolf extended the vote-by-mail deadline a full week, so we won't have official results until June 9. We can wait. Every vote counts. Although, it's safe to assume that the week or so following the presidential election will be a disaster with Trump tweeting “FRAUD!" every 10 minutes. God, he's exhausting, but as long as we're rid of him eventually, it's worth the wait.
Follow SER on Twitter.
Wonkette is ad-free and 100 percent reader funded. You're reading us, so please help fund us if you're able.
Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).