Gay-Hatin' Kentucky County Clerk: I'm Only A Dick Because I Love Jesus Too Much
Wait, didn't we write this story on Wednesday? Dumbfuck Kentucky county clerk with last name "Davis" hates the gays so much, won't give marriage licenses, bleeding out from poor man's stigmata right now? No! It seems that gay-hatin' Kentucky county clerks what are dicks all have the same last name, so let us introduce you to Casey Davis, who, unlike the last Davis, is a boy. He is the county clerk of Casey County, which is probably helpful to him, so he doesn't have to go to the trouble of remembering his own name AND the name of where he works, because words is hard.
Mister Casey got his dumb ass pulled into the principal's office Thursday by Kentucky Gov. Steve Beshear, who told him to stop being such a little pussy and do his goddamned job, or else he's gonna be on Monster.com working as an "escort" in two seconds flat:
Gov. Steve Beshear told Casey County Clerk Casey Davis on Thursday that Davis should issue marriage licenses to every qualified person or resign.
The governor also said he won't call a special legislative session to address same-sex marriage issues.
And did Casey Davis listen? No, because he is a "pastor," and he only listens to the still small voice in his brain that he's been misinterpreting as "Jesus" all this time. Here's what Davis had to say to the media, after Gov. Beshear spanked him on the bottom:
The entire time I'm going to trust in the Lord with all my heart, and lean not into my own understanding, and in all my ways I'm going to acknowledge him, and he shall direct my paths. I'm gon' be not wise in mine own eyes, and i'm gonna fear the Lord and depart from evil. God bless you.
What, you big dork, you can't make up words on your own, so you have to copy off the Bible? And at that, you have to copy off a nice passage from Proverbs that specifically says you're "gon' be not wise?" WE KNOW, CASEY DAVIS. You've proven that you were MIA when God was giving out smarts. Wonkers, you have to watch this, it is worth your 33 seconds to hear him rhyme "wise" with "eyes" in Kentucky-putian, or whatever their native language is called:
Where do these wingnuts get off? You were given a choice, little man. Do your job, or leave, as per the Governor of Kentucky's instructions. But oh no, this weenus thinks The Lord is calling him to be a martyr, so he's willing to do whatever it takes, up until the point the courts rule against him or he realizes that real men don't abandon their responsibilities just because they're sad little bigots who can't handle being around a little EW GAY every now and then.
Enjoy unemployment, you big dumb twat.