George Santos Agrees To Take Paycheck For No Work

Rep. George Santos — fraud, charlatan, and comedy gold mine — announced Tuesday that he's stepping down from his House committee assignments during an ongoing investigation into his many, many lies and alleged widespread campaign finance violations.

Mostly, he's just tired and needs a break, you know? He's been in Congress almost a whole month, and it's exhausting. There have been repeated calls for Santos to resign, but this works out better for him because he still gets paid.

During a closed-door meeting with House Republicans, Santos informed them he's self-deporting from the House Small Business Committee and the Science, Space and Technology Committee, which is quite a loss considering all his Starfleet experience. These easy jokes are probably why Santos believes he's become a "distraction." He's presumably less distracting if he just hangs out in his office watching Netflix.


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Small Business Committee Chair Roger Williams said Santos's announcement "took me by surprise but it was probably the right decision," and believes the withdrawal is only temporary until Santos is "cleared" of ongoing investigations. I don't think any investigation into Santos's past will go well for him unless Kitara Ravache is overseeing them.

Despite all his newly acquired free time, Santos declined to answer reporters' questions. Instead, he said, “I think you should talk to leadership if you want details pertaining to committees.” Oh, who wants dull details from Republican leadership? Whatever Santos could've come up with would've been far more entertaining.

Nonetheless, reporters did follow up with Republican leaders at a press conference today. Rep. Elise Stefanik was asked if she regrets having endorsed her fellow New York Republican. (We're still assuming Santos is actually from New York.) Her response was farm-to-table gibberish.

She began, "Like all of my colleagues ..." That's right, Scalise. You're not sticking her with this mess. Elise Stefanik has never had an original thought or independent moral impulse, and she's not starting with Anthony Zebrowsky George Santos. "... I supported George Santos as the nominee, and the people of his district voted to elect him." They were conned! They thought they were voting for a successful businessman who'd seen more of college than just a midnight screening of Animal House. Meanwhile, Stefanik believes the Deep State threw the 2020 election to Joe Biden by suppressing the Hunter Biden laptop follies.

"George has voluntarily removed himself from committees as he goes through the process," she said. "But ultimately voters decide. And I'm very proud that in New York state we flipped five districts to help deliver us the majority." Yes, and you owe one of those flips to a serial liar who allegedly defrauded a disabled Navy veteran. "Ultimately, voters make this decision about who they elect to Congress."

These same voters have loudly articulated their buyer's remorse, as Santos was both the used car salesman and his own lemon. According to a Newsday-Siena College poll, more than three-quarters of registered voters in Santos's district believe he should resign.

This is hardly a surprising result. Santos lied to voters about his job history, academic credentials, and the specifics of his own mother's death. However, Stefanik, who went full, unapologetically MAGA for short-term political gain, lied to voters about her own humanity. Maybe she feels she's not one to judge.

[Washington Post]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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