George Santos Is (Maybe) Running For Re-Election. Please Give Him Money, If You Are Dumb!

George Santos Is (Maybe) Running For Re-Election. Please Give Him Money, If You Are Dumb!

Rep. George Santos — the serial fabulist who's accused of both stealing puppies from the Amish and swindling a disabled veteran out of money for puppy surgery — is still a sitting member of Congress. The House Ethics Committee, split evenly between Republicans and Democrats — though most of the ethics is on the Democratic side — recently launched an investigation into the Russian nesting doll of frauds, scams, and possible felonies involving Santos. The freshman Republican said he's "fully cooperating," but that's only something he said. You shouldn't really trust it.

He seems confident about the investigation's outcome, however, because he filed paperwork Tuesday indicating his intent to run for re-election. I would've advised he run somewhere without an extradition treaty but I lack the imagination that won him the Best Original Screenplay Oscar for Everything Everywhere All At Once.

His statement of candidacy with the Federal Election Commission doesn't "guarantee" that Santos, who represents parts of Long Island, Queens, and upper Melmac, New York, will run for office next year, but it does let him continue raising money and spending it on whatever he claims are campaign-related expenses. Some of the almost legitimate ones include paying back the estimated $700,000 he laundered through "loaned" his campaign. He can also pay any potential legal fees related to his ongoing investigations.

So, we gotta ask: What sort of fool-flavored sucker would send money to George Santos? The guy's official modifier in all his press coverage is "embattled."


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In fairness, Santos has done more since taking office than simply provide material for late-night talk shows. He's reportedly co-sponsored 26 pieces of legislation co-sponsored 26 pieces of legislation — 173 if you ask him. This includes House Bill 1095, which would declare the AR-15 style rifle the national gun of the US. This country is awesome.

He recently introduced a bill that would require the sitting president — that's Joe Biden — to undergo an annual cognitive exam. The exam would assess fitness in several categories, including general intellect, reading comprehension, memory, and reasoning. Biden's fellow future grandparent Lauren Boebert is half his age and she'd struggle with this test. If the sitting president fails or ignores the cognitive exam, Santos would take away funds for office travel. Oh no!

This bill won't go anywhere, especially in the Democratic-controlled Senate, but Santos is dutifully promoting the rightwing smear that Biden is senile and incompetent. This line of attack is grossly ageist because Republicans don't legitimately believe that Biden's mentally compromised. They just hate his left-of-center policies. Meanwhile, they frequently treated Donald Trump like a sundowner who has "good days" and "bad days." Brian Kilmeade at Fox News praised Trump this week for how "disciplined" he seems after he'd stopped dining with white supremacists. Democrats aren't making similar excuses for Biden.

Local Republican officials in Santos's district and fellow Republican House members have asked him to please just go away, but as the Times suggests, his statement of candidacy filing "offers a clear signal that Mr. Santos is leaving the door open to defending his seat in Congress." It seems more likely, though, that he's just cashing out before his current scam ends.

[New York Times / Politico]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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