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Aren't those amendments part of the AMERICAN constitution?


Florida Man George Zimmerman, the guy who killed Trayvon Martin that one time, is somehow not currently in prison, which just proves you cannot cage artistic genius. Instead, he is doing art again, which is good and healthy and nice, because it's real hard to aim and shoot at teenagers when your hands are all messy with finger paint:

George Zimmerman is unloading a bunch of paintings that illustrate his take on the Confederate Flag controversy -- and he's even offering a bonus prize to one lucky art collector.

Zimmerman is teaming up with Florida Gun Supply to sell signed and numbered prints of his Confederate Flag painting to help pay legal costs for his friend.

The ad on Florida Gun Supply's website says anyone who buys a print will be entered to win the original painting of Zimmerman's stars and bars (which could be worth up to $100,000!).

OR MORE! We imagine among the sorts of people who would be connoisseurs of Zimmerman's "art," the dollar value goes up each time he either Stands His Ground or has a little "accident" with a gun or something. He's only 31 years old (fucking millennial), so these masterpieces are ONLY going to appreciate.

Here is a video of Zimmerman explaining where he got the idea to do a special Confederate flag painting, because every decent grad school art program will tell you that a cohesive artist's statement is a MUST if you want to be taken seriously as an artist:

I was painting the American flag, and that's the caption, the Second protects the First, has a double entendre, I was painting the American flag when I heard of you getting sued by CAIR, and I decided I would do for you what the American people did for me. And truthfully if it wasn't for all the great patriotic people we have in this nation who donated to my legal defense fund, we could not have kept up the fight the way we needed to. We did not have the money for the hard costs that it took to defend me. And I didn't want to see you give up the fight simply for financial reasons.

Completely leaving aside the fact that Zimmerman says his painting has a "double entendre" in it (because come on, he's stupid, we can't expect him to say words correctly), and also setting aside the fact that he was actually not painting "the American flag," we will just say AWWWWWW how nice, he is doing something nice for his friend! Because yes, this is the same Confederate flag-loving dumbass, Andy Hallinan, owner of Florida Gun Supply, who made a name for himself by banning scary Muslims from shopping at his establishment. And he is getting sued by the evil Muslims at CAIR. Even worse, those Muslims are using the Jesus American Constitution to sue him!

[contextly_sidebar id="iblzPHMXdwkQki8yBMzGQkC4ePnxYJu8"]

Thank heavens Hallinan has a real stupid, vaguely literate, trigger-happy artiste like George Zimmerman as a cuddle-friend! People whose countries have been stoled from them have to stick together, you know.

Anyway, this is a wonderful addition to Zimmerman's growing oeuvre. Because remember that one "painting" he did of the mean prosecutor who had the utter balls to prosecute him for the "crime" of murder? Yeah, that one sold for more than 100,000 American dollars, on the internet:

And then there was that other time, when he ACTUALLY painted the American flag (if by "painted," you mean "traced over some clip-art he found on Google image search") with some poorly scrawled words written on top of it. Maybe this is what he was talking about in his Artist's Statement. It's such a pain in the ass when you're working on one thing, and then The Muse knocks on the door and gives you an idea for another thing. It's like, "Hey Muse, I'm just the guy who killed Trayvon Martin with a gun, what do you think I am, JACKSON FUCKING POLLOCK?" No way. He's the new Michelangelo, but for sad racists who kill unarmed teenagers:

Breathtaking.

As we reported, prints of the new Zimmerman are available at the Florida Gun Shop, and you might win a contest if you buy one, and don't you dare say anything about how roadside gun shops are not usually "where you buy art," you effete, liberal, queer-loving America-haters. You go where the art IS, not where you EXPECT to find it.

[TMZ / RawStory]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Republicans are devouring each other's carcasses, and we are here for it! Especially when one of those Republicans is King Kris of the Kansas Votefucker Klan ... errr, Clan! It's been a week since Kansans cast their votes in the gubernatorial primary, and the GOP looks to be rolling up its sleeves for a slugfest.

As we type, Kobach leads by 298 votes out of more than 314,000 cast -- a whopping 0.00095 percent, if you round up! The Kansas GOP begged Donald Trump to stay out of the race and leave the field clear for sitting governor Jeff Colyer, who took over when Sam Brownback wandered off to bring Jesus to the Hottentots on behalf of the US government. Safe bet that Colyer would be gearing up for the general election now if President Twitterthumbs hadn't flapped his yap. So thanks for that, Donny!

No, really, THANKS!

Remember the hanging chad debacle in Florida? Now picture it in a landlocked state with more cows than people. It's like fantasy island for Devin Nunes, ALLEGEDLY.

Oh, but we are to kid!

After first insisting he wasn't going to recuse from the counting, Secretary of State Kris Kobach (one and the same!) wrote Colyer a fabulously bitchy letter agreeing to hand off the tabulation to his deputy, Eric Rucker. Colyer had made the shocking suggestion that Kobach delegate responsibility to the Kansas attorney general, rather than his own political appointee, and Kobach was stretched out on the settee with a fit of the vapors at the gross impropriety of it all!

I will not breach the public trust and arbitrarily assign my responsibilities to another office that is not granted such authority by the laws of Kansas.

After several anguished paragraphs, Kobach closed by remonstrating that Colyer was betraying his office by destroying the faith of Kansans in the sacred integrity of their electoral process.

As governor of Kansas, your unrestrained rhetoric has the potential to undermine the public's confidence in the election process. May I suggest that you trust the people of Kansas have made the right decision at the polls and that our election officials will properly determine the result as they do in every election.

Said the guy whose entire adult life has been dedicated to whipping up panic about millions of imaginary illegal alien voters.

So now these two princes can kick the crap out of each other WITH VOTES, specifically, provisional ballots cast by unaffiliated voters under the supervision of poorly trained poll workers. Kansas holds closed primaries, meaning only registered Republicans can vote to select the GOP candidate, BUT an unaffiliated voter can cast a vote by checking a box identifying as a Democrat or a Republican at the polling place. This was news to some poll workers, who mistakenly directed over one thousand unaffiliated voters to use provisional ballots without checking the box indicating party preference. Whoops!

So, will those provisional ballots be counted based on voter intent? Or tossed based on strict interpretation of the statute? And does Kansas law mandate tossing mail-in ballots that arrive without a postmark on Wednesday, since there's no forensic proof that they were mailed before midnight on Tuesday? And how disgusted will the Kansas electorate be when one of these assholes emerges from the melée holding the other one's scalp? And how many millions of dollars are going to be spent on litigating the Republican primary while this nice lady Laura Kelly, the Democratic minority whip of the Kansas Senate, is out campaigning for November?

Even before this debacle, Kobach looked significantly weaker against Kelly than Colyer, with self-funded Libertarian Jeff Orman threatening to throw a wrench in the works. The Wichita Eagle reports on a Remington Research Poll conducted in July:

In a Kelly-Orman-Kobach race, the poll puts Kelly and Kobach effectively in a dead heat — 36 percent for Kelly and 35 percent for Kobach, with Kelly's lead within the margin of error. Orman has 12 percent.

Colyer leads in a three-way race with Kelly and Orman, according to the poll. In that scenario, Colyer receives 38 percent of the vote, while Kelly gets 28 percent and Orman receives 10 percent.

Which is ONE POLL, in a deeply red state, but ... Kobach is a crap candidate who's likely to emerge from this fight with two black eyes and a pissed off base. If there's anyone who can blow this election, it's Kris Kobach.

Keep fighting, Kris! You can do it! (And now we need a shower.)

And YOU need an OPEN THREAD!

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Money us, PLEASE! Throw a tip in the jar, or click here to keep your Wonkette snarking forever.

[Kobach letter / Wichita Eagle / Mother Jones / Kansas City Star]

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While most people spent this weekend telling Nazi punks to fuck off, a couple 11-year-olds were in Las Vegas hacking into voting machines. Why? BECAUSE IT'S FUN!

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