You know what's annoying about cicadas? The obsessive, myopic coverage they're getting in the Washington Post, that's what. Who gives a fuck about Brood X? The Post is destroying more trees than the locusts ever could -- and at least the bugs are getting some nourishment out of it. We assume there's some sort of Sadr-like dictum to reference the creatures paper-wide, because even the sports section has gotten into it: "Through six weeks of the MLS season, D.C. United's attack has been like a brood of cicadas: noisy and annoying but ultimately harmless." Ha ha! Original!
Seriously, how lame. Even the Republican National Committee can come up with a cicada metaphor: "What Does John Kerry Have In Common With The Cicadas?" Uhm, let's see. . . The Washington Post's slavish devotion?
At least Kerry is, like, running for president. The cicadas are fucking bugs. Yet the WP has had two live chats devoted to cicadas, and there is a Style section reoccurring feature that rounds up cicada-related stories, "Cicada Buzz." Because otherwise how would we get our cicada news: It's not like the Post has run a story mentioning cicadas every day for the past two weeks. Oh, what, they have! Usually more than one a day. Except, as far as we can tell, May 8. Alright, who fell down on the job on May 8, people? Because you know what they say: If there's not a swarm-related story in the paper every day, then the cicadas have won.
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