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Ghost Mr. Rogers Will Help Save PBS From That Mean Old Mitt Romney

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Duh, everybody freaking out about Homeless Big Bird, axing PBS has been dogma on the Right for decades. Everybody in this glorious nation may be shocked at Miffed Romney's mafia threat to Big Bird -- looks like you got a real nice nest here, shame if anything happened to it -- but Fox Business and their ilk have long believed all that sharing and multiculturalism is soshulizms. Murdering the Muppets is a feature, not a bug. On the flip side, get some morning sweetness with Fred Rogers testifying before Congress and making crusty old men's hearts grow three sizes, and stuff.


Of course, you knew the Republicans have wanted this forever and ever, but the ... er ... low-information voters (we are trying to nicely say "idiots") are dismayed and appalled to learn this basic bit of 21st Century Teatardedness. (Here's a statement from PBS from last year, when the House voted to cut off all its funding. And here is their -- near identical -- statement from yesterday. They probably have the whole thing in macros.) Funding for public broadcasting polls better than any slice of federal funding besides your grandma. Too bad that was the one piece of specific policy Ol' Miffed let fly in the greatest debate performance in this life or any other. Total bummer.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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I wasn't ready for Koko the gorilla to die. She was just 46, so still young well past the upper age limit for a gorilla, but I'll miss her. She loved cats, told mildly amusing jokes, and put up with people, so she was a lot like your weird aunt.

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Donald Trump held one of his televised cabinet meetings today in which he railed about the terrible Democrats who forced the current border crisis (at a time when illegal border crossings are actually lower than usual). In what's sure to be his favorite phrase on Twitter for the next few days, Trump blamed "extremist open-border Democrats" for all the problems he brought on himself with his family separation policy, and explained that Democrats were simultaneously hurting illegal immigrants AND the rest of America by forcing Normal America to accept Central Americans who fled to the US. It made loads of sense! And then things got ... less so.

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