Glenn Beck Turns Hippie Peacenik, 'Cause War Is A Progressive Trip, Man
Glenn Beck has decided that his favorite conservative anthem is now "War: What Is It Good For? (Absolutely Nothin')." You see, Glennhad a moment of revelation: This whole Syria thing, man, it's just about the oil, you know? (Syria doesn't have that much oil, really, but don't stop him, he's on a roll). And war? Oh, man, war is the worst, man, the ultimate bummer trip, you know? On his Monday program, Beck shared his insights (possibly the result of a peyote-fueled vision quest with a shaman) and laid on his audience this heavy message, telling viewers that
he used to support the idea of toppling dictators and spreading democracy ... until he realized "that was progressive thinking ...
That's why I'm against war," Beck said, "because it's a progressive idea."
Far out. We were kind of hoping he'd explain what he meant, but the video just ended there and he went on to something else, so we'll guess it's all about Woodrow Wilson somehow. Progressivism: It's whatever Glenn Beck doesn't like at any given moment.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.