God Spares Phyllis Schlafly Sight Of First Woman President
At least she saved us from unisex toilets.
Phyllis Schlafly died Monday at the age of 92, bringing an end to more than a decade of Wonkette comments beginning "You mean to say that old hater is still alive?" Schlafly made a career out of portraying herself as a simple housewife who was so driven by her love of American values and traditions that she had no choice but to to go to work to tell women to stay home and be mommies like God and George Washington wanted them to, or the Communists would win. In reality, she was a shrewd political operator most of her life, even well before those nasty '70s feminists stopped shaving their legs and abandoned their babies at daycares so they could go become lesbian witches. If you read any other longform pieces about Schlafly beyond the mandatory New York Times obit, read Lisa Wines's fine Wonkette story about the time in 1966 when Schlafly started a riot at the 1966 convention of the National Federation of Republican Women. In fact, read that before you read what the Grey Lady has to say about the grey lady.
Trump almost immediately deleted the tweet, but screenshots are forever. Also, Donald, obituaries are not about you. Just kidding, of course they are.
We would be remiss not to note the simple elegy for Schlafly by Juanita Jean Monday evening:
Y’all, Phyllis Schlafly went to the great beyond today. That loud gasp you heard is Phyllis discovering that God is liberal black woman who wants to have a little chat with her.
Phyllis was 92 years old, proving once again that the good die young.
Ms. Schlafly leaves behind a fractious family fighting over the remnants of the Eagle Forum; a son who founded Conservapedia, one of the most moronic websites in the world; a niece, Suzanne Venker, who seems dedicated to continuing Aunt Phyllis's mission of being wrong about everything, like for instance marital rape; and several score rightwing pundits all typing the headline "Phyllis Schlafly Was Right."
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.