GOP Decries Vaccine Passports As Satanic Hitler Badges

We are all Nazis now. Well, at least according to the wingers, who will turn literally any Democratic proposal for efficient government into jackbooted thuggery in the time it takes a Fox producer to dial up some fake "leftist" for another hit of manufactured outrage.

The Right is currently soiling its unwashed knickers over the Biden administration's plan to coordinate a private sector app to convert vaccine cards into a scannable code we could pull up on our phones before walking into Disney World to scream our faces off at Splash Mountain.

As the Department of Health and Human Services noted in a presentation obtained by the Washington Post, "Without some type of nationwide coordination, [the] landscape could become littered with a confusing array of incompatible, proprietary solutions of varying quality and trustworthiness," forcing individuals to upload their personal health information into a dizzying array of apps to gain access to different services and venues.

"A chaotic and ineffective vaccine credential approach could hamper our pandemic response by undercutting health safety measures, slowing economic recovery, and undermining public trust and confidence," and so the government is working to regularize standards across multiple providers.

Does that sound like a solid approach to getting the hospitality and entertainment sectors humming again, stimulating the economy, and allowing us all to return to normal life?


Take it away, Naomi Wolf!

Because when you're caught being a shit scholar, the wingnutosphere will welcome you with open arms.

See, the party of transvaginal ultrasounds, mandatory drug testing for welfare recipients, voter ID, stop and frisk, and show us your papers laws — not to mention actual Nazis — is suddenly very concerned about government intrusion into the private lives of American citizens. Never mind that most of our kids have to show proof of vaccination to attend public school or play sports. Making it easier for businesses to reopen by regularizing the patchwork of vaccine passports already springing up across various states and industries is actual totalitarianism, at least according to the nutbags who prefer howling about nonsense to the hard work of governing.

Yes, because yellow stars were like an all-access pass to get into exclusive events. Everyone wanted one, and there was a thriving black market in forged Juden badges.

Oh, wait ...

"Vaccine passports are unconstitutional. Period," tweeted constitutional scholar Rep. Lauren Boebert.

"Proposals like these smack of 1940s Nazi Germany. We must make every effort to keep America from becoming a 'show your papers society,'" her fellow MENSA alum Rep. Madison Cawthorn told Fox News. "The Constitution and our founding principles decry this type of totalitarianism."

You would think that a guy with such a hard-on for Hitler would be able to keep his Nazi analogies straight. But then you'd go to his Wikipedia page and disabuse yourself of that right quick.

Compared to this dipshittery, the faux outrage from GOP leadership sounds like Newtonian logic.

"Considering that Democrats want to require vaccine IDs for people to conduct their basic daily activities, they now have zero grounds to object to voter ID laws," House Minority Whip Steve Scalise told Fox News. "If under Democrat logic, you should need an ID to enter even a grocery store, surely there wouldn't be an objection to showing an ID to legally vote."

Of course, this relies on a blatant lie that Democrats are demanding proof of vaccination to buy groceries, as if Joe Biden and Kamala Harris will be parking themselves in front of the Piggly Wiggly in East Asscrack demanding to see your medical records. Or maybe they'll send Cory Booker — we hear that guy's really scary!

And when it comes to false equivalence , Jim Jordan is second to none.

Well, second to none in Congress. Obviously no one can hold a candle to Tucker Carlson, who screeched, "You are not allowed to know if your kid has a sex change, and now your private information — whether you are vaccinated or not — that information in the hands of the tech companies and that will determine whether you can participate in American life?" Then he pivoted to blaming Democrats for vaccine hesitancy because, "If you're trying to calm people down about the idea of vaccines, and make them less vaccine-hesitant, and convince them it is not a conspiracy run by Bill Gates, then you won't consider doing something like this."

And speaking of loonies, Crazy Eyes Junior just spent a little time at the Hebrew Reputation Laundry after the Jewish Space Laser kerfuffle, so she managed to mostly steer clear of anti-semitism during this round.

Is it too early to start drinking yet?

[WaPo / Fox / Mediaite]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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