dumb lying fuck

Oh golly gee, there is a rumble a-brewing, and shit is about to get all West Side Story in the United States Capitol! Except in this version, there is no Tony and Maria being all gay at each other like "THEEEERRRRE'S A PLACE FOR US, A TIME AND PLACE FOR US, SOMEHOW! SOMEDAY! SOMEWHERE!" This version just features fighting between the Republican chairmen of the House and Senate intelligence committees.

Obama National Security Adviser Susan Rice testified before the Senate Intelligence Committee on Friday in a closed session. If you'll remember, Donald Trump and some Republicans have been trying to distract from the actual Trump-Russia scandal, in part by alleging Rice did something ILLEGAL and WRONGBAD, by "improperly" "unmasking" members of the Trump team picked up in routine FISA surveillance. It has always been bullshit. Unmasking is a normal thing in the day-to-day operations of being the national security adviser, and unmasking requests are approved by the NSA (the National Security Agency! Not former National Security Adviser Susan Rice!) when they determine it's necessary to "unmask" a U.S. person who is either communicating with foreigns about ILLEGAL or WRONGBAD things or being DISCUSSED by foreigns about their illegal and wrongbad things.

Back in March, Rep. Devin Nunes, the dumb-as-dogshit chair of the House Intelligence Committee, embarrassed the shit out of himself, his constituents, America, God and Jesus, when he spent a week and a half going to the White House to see secret White House intelligence on improper "unmasking," then immediately running from the White House to the White House (schmoozing with reporters the whole way!) to tell the White House all the salacious White House "unmasking" intelligence he had just learned from the White House.

After the Senate Intel Committee's little meeting with Susan Rice, Senator Richard Burr, chair of the Senate Intelligence Committee, decided to talk some unholy shit about that, and also about Devin The Dipshit Duke Of Dumbfuckistan:

"The unmasking thing was all created by Devin Nunes ...


... and I'll wait to go through our full evaluation to see if there was anything improper that happened," Burr said.


"But clearly there were individuals unmasked. Some of that became public which it's not supposed to, and our business is to understand that, and explain it."


In short, Senator Richard Burr does not have time for Rep. Devin Nunes and his trifling folderol, and he's willing to say so. We're not saying we advocate violence, but if Burr decided to meet Nunes at high noon and punch him in his big ugly face, we'd liveblog it. Just saying.

It's a good thing Nunes, a shitweasel from the dumbest ring of hell, is recused from the House Intel Committee's investigation into the Trump-Russia problem! Oh wait he's actually NOT really recused, it's just that he decided all by his lonesome after reading the pertinent intelligence (probably the secret messages in his skid marks) that there was no collusion between Trump and Russia, and now he's doing his own extra special investigation into "unmasking," because he is Donald Trump's slobbering, justice-obstructing buttboy, and also he's so stupid he probably shouldn't be allowed to put on his own pants in the morning without wearing a helmet.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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'Miga and Carlos' by Wonkette Operative 'Chica'

It's Father's Day, which means it's time for Yr Dok Zoom and his son to go to brunch and check out the downtown Boise Father's Day Car Show so we can ooh and ah over the very same Corvettes 'n' Mustangs 'n' lovingly-restored classic cars that are there every year, and I will probably once again point at the '68 Beetle converted to run on electricity and say, "Oh look, a Voltswagen!" Traditions matter. (Kid Zoom is 22, so I may also/instead meet him for cocktails later like grown up human people.)

Don't worry about any deep thoughts on the Meaning of Fatherhood here -- we're just going to enjoy the goofy side of dadding, which as far as I'm concerned is the best thing I've done with my time. Especially since my role model for parenting was the unnamed Dad from "Calvin and Hobbes."

As any fool knows, ice rises to the top of liquids because it's cold, and just wants to be closer to the sun so it can warm up. It's all in the book you get when you become a father.

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