This morning we had a post on "Look At All These Republicans Suddenly Begging The Morons To Get Their Shots." And it's true, something does seem to be happening among certain Republicans, a come-to-Jesus freakout over all these white Republicans in red states suddenly getting infected and hospitalized and dying of the COVID, now that the new delta variant is spreading like a common pandemic.

There is of course a flipside. There are still shitloads of Republican lawmakers clinging to vaccine conspiracy theorizing like it's a Bible with a hollowed out compartment with a gun inside. And despite how Fox News has featured three or four brief moments — which went VIRAL, thanks Beltway media! — of hosts saying the vaccines are fine, that's not widespread, and there is just as much anti-vax anti-science bullshit on that network as ever.

So we'll file these two posts together under "Republican Civil War."


GOP electeds maaaaaaay not be fully committed to Sparkle Motion yet ...

Punchbowl News collected some quotes from GOP congressmen and a couple senators, relatively current quotes. The New York Times has more. These people clearly aren't on the Serious Republicans Only dating website for Serious Republicans Only, therefore they don't know the powers that be want them to get fucking serious.

Rep. Lauren Boebert, at CPAC: "Don't come knocking on my door with your 'Fauci ouchie.' You leave us the hell alone."

Rep. Jason Smith, on Twitter: "The Biden administration wants to knock down your door KGB-style to force people to get vaccinated. We must oppose forced vaccination!"

Rep. Madison Cawthorn, at CPAC talking to a conspiracy theory network, being his usual wussy-ass pants-pissing self: "Think about what [Biden encouraging people to go door-to-door to help get people vaccinated] could be used for. They could then go door-to-door to take your guns. They could then go door-to-door to take your Bibles." Cry more, snowflake.

Rep. Chip Roy, to Tucker Carlson: "There's a sheriff in one of the counties I represent in Texas, who just told a crowd, if any of these vaccine feds come up to your property, you kick them off and I'll be there to defend you and back you up."

Senator Marsha Blackburn, tweeting: "Big Government in control -- Joe Biden is sending agents to your door to compel vaccinations."

Senator Roger Marshall, running his fucking mouth: "Every time Jen Psaki opens her mouth or Dr. Fauci opens his mouth, 10,000 more people say I'm never going to take the vaccine."

And so on and so forth.

And of course, a lot of people are talking about the congresswoman from Crossfit, Marjorie Taylor Greene, who was suspended from Twitter temporarily this week for her all her clownass lies. She had tweeted that COVID-19 is "not dangerous for non-obese people and those under 65." She lied and said there have been SIX THOUSAND "vax-related deaths." Then yesterday, during a press conference she called to bellyache about her Twitter suspension — she called Twitter "communist," because she knows what words mean — Greene was asked if she herself was vaccinated, and she accused the reporter of violating her HIPAA rights.

What, you didn't know the section of HIPAA that's about reporters asking questions? Guess you didn't read HIPAA upside down in a 4chan comments section like Greene did. (Allegedly.)

Regarding Fox News!

We mentioned that the Beltway media creamed its underwear when Sean Hannity spent 30 whole seconds the other night saying vaccines are good and he believes in science. Of course, that was sandwiched in between vax-skeptic bullshit and whining about supposed slights to freedom caused by vaccine mandates. Steve Doocy said some nice words the other day. He was responding to his paste-eating co-host Brian Kilmeade whining about preserving people's FREEDOM!!1!1 to die unvaccinated.

As the New York Times notes, Monday also featured Laura Ingraham telling her viewers that Democrats wanted to "de-platform, cancel, defame or eliminate inconvenient opinions regarding their COVID response." She said pro-vaccine, pro-science, anti-death people want to "frighten or pressure children, again, who face virtually no risk of serious illness." She wondered aloud if the vaccines even work, considering how all those Texas Democrats tested positive. (It's worth noting that their symptoms are all negligible — thanks, vaccine! — and that they only likely know about their infections because they, as lawmakers, take rapid tests often. Also there's that thing about how 99.5 percent of COVID deaths right now are among the unvaccinated, per Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, and 97.5 percent of hospitalizations are likewise, per CDC Director Rochelle Walensky.)

"We want everyone to be healthy and safe and have their risk assessment done properly for themselves, for their doctors, all that," Ms. Ingraham said. "But something's going on here. Something's going on here. And all they do is want to attack people who ask questions."

And she's just asking questions! Of course, she had on as a guest that night Alex Berenson, one of the single-greatest COVID vaccine liars currently alive.

Tucker, that same night:

"We're not saying there is no benefit to the vaccine — there may well be profound benefits to the vaccine." He acknowledged that "various vaccines seem to lower the effects of the disease, make it less severe on people," but he also brought up the Texas cases, saying, "It makes you wonder, how effective are those drugs anyway?"

Also just asking questions! He also on Monday said the CDC director is a liar when she calls this a "pandemic of the unvaccinated."

What's coming out of the Hannity-hole ever since he spoke good words for 30 whole seconds? Well, yesterday he praised shitty doctor Rand Paul, who brags about staying unvaccinated because he's had COVID, therefore he's just pretty sure he has all the antibodies he'll ever need.

Matthew Gertz over at Media Matters collected some screenshots from Fox News's evening festivities this week. This is what your Republican Nana is seeing on the TV if she's got Fox News on mute because she likes to mute the TV at dinnertime:


Those Vaccine Passport-havers over at Fox News are not fully committed to Sparkle Motion yet.

Which team of Republicans will win?

Don't know, but we can hazard a wild guess.

Fun fact: 86 percent of Democrats have gotten at least one dose of the vaccine.

Another fun fact: For Republicans, that number is 45 percent. Another 47 percent say NO NOT ME, NO NEVER!

The best thing you can do for your health these days is reject the company of Republicans wherever possible.

[Punchbowl / New York Times]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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