GOP Senator Says Be Sweet To Donald Trump, For He Is But A Tiny Suckling Infant

Probably just needs to be changed. (pic viaDemocratic Underground, hi, Democratic Underground!)

Jesus Effing McGee, what a wonder it is to watch all these GOP types run around trying to wrap their heads around Donald Trump's racism toward the Hispanic judge handling one of the cases against scammy-ass Trump University. They're trying to process the poor choices what led their beloved party to choose that man to be their standard-bearer and nominee, and yet still give him their support, because #reasons. House Speaker Paul Ryan gave it the old college try, saying sure Trump's a racist, but well ... anyway, words and stuff and things!

Whose turn is it now to Assess The Situation? OH HI, Utah Republican Senator Orrin Hatch, help us all out, will ya?

"Be nice to him, he's a first-time candidate," Hatch told members of the media in Washington, according to reporters, adding that Trump is "going to make mistakes." [...]

Hatch said Trump is "not a racist," but said the businessman makes "outrageous statements."

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]Trump is just a tiny little first-timer baby candidate! And what tiny, brand new, OMG SO CUTE baby can possibly be expected not to hurl racial slurs at Latino judges handling lawsuits filed against them? What infant blessing from the Lord doesn't immediately try to deport American Muslims back to their native homelands and threaten to build YOOOGE border walls to keep out the yucky Messicans?

Moreover, what kind of sad, weak baby doesn't spell out Make America Great Again with boom boom in its didie, when it's still learning how to do stuff good? It's Trump's first rodeo, y'all, BE SWEET!

Except ... well, Donald J. Trump is a 69-year-old man. Also too, and FACTCHECK for the moron GOP senator, this is not the first time Trump has run for president. He ran in 2000 as a candidate for the Reform Party, and he dipped his tiny hairless piggy-wiggies into the Republican presidential waters in 2011, before ultimately deciding not to run.

Good try, though, Orrin Hatch!

Anybody else have an entry into the "I am a dumbfuck GOP Senator and I would like to say a thing about Donald Trump" contest?


[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]Senate Majority Leader McConnell, fresh off emerging from his shell to tell NBC human neckbeard Chuck Todd that he definitely does not agree with Trump's racism, which he will not call racism (and a whole bunch more stupid words), would now please like Donald Trump to sit still, play the quiet game, stop rough-housing, pulling his panties down and showing all the other kids his naughty-naughty. In short, STICK TO THE SCRIPT, TWAT-ROCKET:



My advice to our nominee would be to start talking about the issues the American people care about, and to start doing it [turtle croak] now! In addition to that, it's time to stop attacking various people that you competed with, and various minority groups in the country, and get on message.

He has an opportunity to do that. This election is eminently winnable. ... And so I hope that's what he'll do, we're all anxious to hear what he may say next.


Who will be the next GOP grundle-smear to step on his or her own dick in service of Donald The Trump? C'mon guys, you all know how to say real stupid stuff, and an eager America is listening.

[The Hill / Also too The Hill / pic viaDemocratic Underground]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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