Nikki Haley has an active fantasy life. Not only does the former UN ambassador believe she has a real shot at scoring the 2024 Republican presidential nomination, but she'd also have you believe the GOP is just one big happy family. No civil war here! Just Kumbaya and kisses in the Republican caucus.

"Strong speech by President Trump about the winning policies of his administration and what the party needs to unite behind moving forward," she tweeted last night. "The liberal media wants a GOP civil war. Not gonna happen."

UH HUH.

Let's roll the tape of Trump's CPAC rant, shall we?


The Democrats don't have grandstanders like Mitt Romney, little Ben Sasse, Richard Burr, Bill Cassidy, Susan Collins, Lisa Murkowski, Pat Toomey; and in the House, Tom Rice, South Carolina, Adam Kinzinger, Dan Newhouse, Anthony Gonzalez. That's another beauty. Fred Upton, Jaime Herrera Butler, Peter Meijer, John Katko, David Valadeo. And of course the warmonger, a person that loves seeing our troops fighting, Liz Cheney. How about that? The good news is in her state, she's been censured. And in her state, her poll numbers have dropped faster than any human being I've ever seen. So hopefully, they'll get rid of her with the next election. Get rid of them all.

Cool hit list, bro. Can't help but notice that the targets are all members of your own team, though. Which rather gives the lie to Haley's saccharine optimism about GOP unity. FFS, Trump attacked both Mitch McConnell, taking credit for his win over Democratic challenger Amy McGrath, and his own Supreme Court appointees, who failed to overturn the election results at his gentle request.

"This election was rigged and the Supreme Court and other courts didn't want to do anything about it," he whined, adding later, "They didn't have the courage, the Supreme Court, they didn't have the courage to act, but instead used process and lack of standing." So much for BUT GORSUCH.

In fact, the former president's speech was full of poisonous nonsense directed at supposed fifth columnists in his own ranks.

"The RINOs that we're surrounded with will destroy the Republican Party and the American worker and will destroy our country itself. The RINOs, Republican in name only," he warned ominously. "But the Republican Party is united. The only division is between a handful of Washington DC establishment, political hacks, and everybody else all over the country."

What exactly makes a RINO? Not policy disagreements with the GOP, which didn't even bother to craft a platform for its convention this year, instead opting for mandatory slavish devotion to Trump and willingness to debase yourself and every principle you've ever espoused. The former president's idiot son even acknowledged that Trumpism has entirely eclipsed any conservatism, joking that they ought to call it "TPAC. It's what it feels like guys." LOL, we are a hollow cult of personality in thrall to a guy who will be 78 years old in 2024 and thinks riding around in a golf cart is exercise. What could go wrong?

Yes, Republicans are breathing a sigh of relief that Trump has rejected the idea of starting a third party to compete with the GOP.

I am not starting a new party. That was fake news, fake news. No. Wouldn't that be brilliant? Let's start a new party and let's divide our vote so that you can never win. No, we're not interested in that. Mr. McLaughlin just gave me numbers that nobody's ever heard of before, more popular than anybody. That's all of us, it's all of us. Those are great numbers and I want to thank you very much. Those are incredible numbers. I came here and he was giving me 95%, 97%, 92%. And I said, "They're great." And I want to thank everybody in this room and everybody all throughout the country, throughout the world if you want to really know the truth.

Yes, more popular than anybody except maybe the guy who has an actual approval rating that's in positive integers, something Trump himself never achieved, sadly. Oh, and Trump only got 55 percent in the 2024 straw poll at CPAC, a party virtually thrown in his honor — numbers are hard, as is telling the truth. So if Republicans hope Trump won't burn the entire GOP down to clear the field for himself in 2024, well, perhaps they've forgotten Lyin' Ted, Little Marco, and Lindsey Graham's cell phone number being blasted out on national television.

And despite her happytalk blather, Nikki Haley knows it, too. Hence her increasingly desperate flip-flopping after she tried to put distance between herself and Trump after the Capitol insurrection, only to realize too late she'd self-exiled to Loserville by failing to support the Dear Leader.

Meanwhile, the GOP has to keep entertaining the Big Lie about election fraud to keep that fool inside their countermajoritarian tent pissing out. This despite their trifecta of humiliating losses in Georgia, which many blame on depressed turnout by voters who'd been convinced by somebody their votes wouldn't be counted.

And it's all well and good for National Republican Senate Committee Chair Rick Scott to insist that "the Republican civil war is canceled" as he did on "Fox News Sunday," telling Chris Wallace that "I am supporting every Republican incumbent in all the Senate races. So I believe all of our incumbents are going to win." But with Trump training his firepower on Lisa Murkowski, Scott is going to have a hell of a time protecting her in a GOP primary. And while John Thune is in no danger, backing his reelection campaign will put Scott and the NRSC at odds with Trump, who has promised to support any challenger in the 2022 South Dakota senate race.

Lucky for Kevin McCarthy, the National Republican Congressional Committee doesn't take sides in primaries, so he won't have to protect members of his own caucus from the Trump-fueled onslaught. No loyalty among thieves, it seems.

In summary and in conclusion, GOP in disarray, all day, every day. You love to see it.

[Politico / WaPo / NYT]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.

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