You want proof the GOP is losing their shit? Look at their response to National Security Council aide Tim Morrison's testimony yesterday in which he confirmed both the Giuliani back channel and the president of the United States offering the Ukrainian president a quid pro quo of US aid to Ukraine for an investigation of Joe Biden's son.

Morrison, who spent 17 years as a Republican congressional staffer, has blessed the July 25 extortion call, about which he was "not concerned that anything illegal was discussed." So looks like we just have to pack it in on this whole impeachment thing, right?

Maybe let's just check that transcript, though, just to be safe.

After the call, I promptly asked the NSC Legal Advisor and his Deputy to review it. I had three concerns about a potential leak of the MemCon: first, how it would play out in Washington's polarized environment; second, how a leak would affect the bipartisan support our Ukrainian partners currently experience in Congress; and third, how it would affect the Ukrainian perceptions of the U.S.-Ukraine relationship. I want to be clear, I was not concerned that anything illegal was discussed.

Alrighty then! So Morrison, like Alexander Vindman, went racing down the hall to NSC lawyer John Eisenberg the second Trump hung up from his PERFECT PHONE CALL. But while Vindman was freaked out about Trump using American tax dollars to extort the Ukrainian president, Morrison just wanted to lock that transcript down because it looked so, so bad, and he didn't want anyone in Congress to find out about it. Also he was, uh, worried that if it leaked, it might make the Ukrainians -- who were on the phone call, and presumably heard what Trump said firsthand -- think the US wasn't such a staunch ally after all. Oh, and he didn't agree with Vindman that Trump said Burisma instead of "the company." So obviously, we should just take this witness's word for it when he says the call was kosher, okay?


The wingnutosphere is also gleefully rubbing its flaccid phalluses at the prospect of Morrison TOTALLY DEBUNKING Bill Taylor's damaging testimony.

Oh, hey, by the way, WHO FUNDS THE FEDERALIST? Maybe Sean needs to put down that lube and pick up his Hooked on Phonics flashcards. Here are the two discrepancies between Morrison's and Taylor's versions of events.

Morrison: My recollection is that Ambassador Sondland's proposal to Mr. Yermak was that it could be sufficient if the new Ukrainian prosecutor general—not President Zelensky—would commit to pursue the Burisma investigation. I also would like to clarify that I did not meet with the Ukrainian National Security Advisor in his hotel room, as Ambassador Taylor indicated on page 11 of his statement. Instead, an NSC aide and I met with Mr. Danyliuk in the hotel's business center.

So, there was a quid pro quo, but Zelenskiy could fulfill his part of the deal by having his chief prosecutor announce the investigations -- he didn't have to do it himself. And Tim Morrison never did meet those Ukrainians in his hotel room! What kind of slut do you take him for? (Don't answer that.) Calm down, Mother Pence, they met in the "business center."

Could it be that Morrison is trying to put the very best GOP spin on this he can without perjuring himself? Hrrmmmm, that's a tough one!

I am pleased our process gave the President the confidence he needed to approve the release of the security sector assistance.

Oh, come the fuck on! Donald Trump put a hold on $391 million of congressionally allocated defense funds for Ukraine and repeatedly linked it to Ukraine publicly announcing investigations into Joe Biden and that insane shit about the DNC server. Then he tried to cover his tracks by claiming it was part of an "interagency process." At the same time he was supporting Ukrainian anti-corruption efforts by trying to cut $17 million of US support for Ukraine's National Anti-Corruption Bureau and Special Anti-Corruption Prosecutor's Office. And he only released the money in September after the whistleblower complaint hit the fan, Republicans lost their shit and demanded the money be released, and three House committees announced an investigation of the hold. But please, Mr. Morrison, tell us more about your vaunted "process," which helped Donald Trump overcome his very serious reluctance to release the money Ukraine needed to fend off Vladimir Putin. You bet!

Any other spurious bullshit in that opening statement?

After 19 years of government service, I have decided to leave the NSC. I have not submitted a formal resignation at this time because I do not want anyone to think there is a connection between my testimony today and my impending departure. I plan to finalize my transition from the NSC after my testimony is complete.

LOL, okay. Tim Morrison is quitting right now, today, as soon as he finishes testifying. But the timing is just a coincidence. Nothing to see here!

This guy is their star witness? REALLY?

[Morrison Opening Statement, via CNN / WaPo]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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